[kj] A Statement

[adrianwason]

Hi,
Sorry no idea who you are or what you've been through,I've only spoken to Jaz a few times and only corresponded with Raven on line,but I had a bad relationship which cost me 7 years of my life and I am a very good listener and adviser and hate to hear someone hurting and especially of the gathering.Please contact me off line if I can do anything for you, Cheers Ade
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------ Original Message ------
On  Sunday, 10 Apr, 2022 At 22:01, Lennonka<lennonka at gmail.com> wrote:

And I no longer care.
You are going to destroy yourselves.
I'm going to throw my legs on the table, grab popcorn, and watch.
Have fun!



On Sun, 10 Apr 2022 at 15:25, Lennonka <lennonka at gmail.com 
<mailto:lennonka at gmail.com> > wrote:

Dear sisters and brothers,
I have a statement to make that you may not like, but the truth must be 
told.
It's not an easy thing to tell, but I'm doing my best to approach your 
circle with trust.
So, before you judge me, try to listen to the whole story. And please, 
do make an effort to not make any assumptions, and ask questions if you 
want clarifications.
When I met Jaz in 2006, I was a 22 year old girl. Very clever, maybe 
even a bit wiser than my peers, but immature. I was hoping to find a 
friend in him, because he seemed to feel as lonely as I felt. And of 
course I fell in love with him. You know what he was like back then. And 
I was a mess. I basically felt the way he looked! Because the "partners" 
we choose are a mere reflection of ourselves.
Then I was trying to approach him again to tell him in person how I felt 
about him. But the situation wasn't friendly towards that effort. And I 
was in a very stressful life situation and I got depressed very deeply 
and I attempted a suicide in June 2007.
Obviously and fortunately, despite determination, I failed.
I was getting better quickly, but I was still in a very bad place, both 
circumstance and mental-wise. I blamed him for ruining my life. But not 
just mine. I was observing that a fellow sister was getting harsh 
treatment from another band member. I was super angry that people can 
tremple other people and get away with it, because everyone was scared 
of them. And I wanted to diminish the value of my relation with Jaz and 
I decided to use Paul Raven, who has expressed sexual interest in me 
earlier that year. And I intended to sleep with him as an act of 
vengeance for the victims of the abuse of privilege that certain people 
were given to serve humanity.
The little girl who wanted to play God.
Raven must have known what had been happening, yet he still was able to 
show me unconditional love. Given what happened then, I'm moved beyond 
words by his courage and his big heart. I did have a crush on him. But 
as I was getting less angry, I started wishing hard that I didn't have 
to go through with this intent, because I was still in love with Jaz. I 
don't know what exactly happened to him and what exactly my role in this 
was. But I've matured enough to feel partially accountable to say the 
least.
I've been learning a really harsh lesson about vengeance over the last 
15 years. And also that justice is often mistaken with vengeance. So 
when we call for justice, we must be really careful what we are actually 
calling for.
I want to say that I am sorry.
There's more that I want to tell, but everything else is a child play 
comparing to this part of the story.
Well, you're the tribunal.
Do judge if you Will. Your choice.

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