[kj] A Statement

[Lennonka]

Oh, I nearly forgot.
THANK YOU FOR THE TRAINING.
Good bye.

On Sun, 10 Apr 2022 at 23:01, Lennonka <lennonka at gmail.com> wrote:

> And I no longer care.
> You are going to destroy yourselves.
> I'm going to throw my legs on the table, grab popcorn, and watch.
> Have fun!
>
>
> On Sun, 10 Apr 2022 at 15:25, Lennonka <lennonka at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Dear sisters and brothers,
>>
>> I have a statement to make that you may not like, but the truth must be
>> told.
>> It's not an easy thing to tell, but I'm doing my best to approach your
>> circle with trust.
>> So, before you judge me, try to listen to the whole story. And please, do
>> make an effort to not make any assumptions, and ask questions if you want
>> clarifications.
>>
>> When I met Jaz in 2006, I was a 22 year old girl. Very clever, maybe even
>> a bit wiser than my peers, but immature. I was hoping to find a friend in
>> him, because he seemed to feel as lonely as I felt. And of course I fell in
>> love with him. You know what he was like back then. And I was a mess. I
>> basically felt the way he looked! Because the "partners" we choose are a
>> mere reflection of ourselves.
>>
>> Then I was trying to approach him again to tell him in person how I felt
>> about him. But the situation wasn't friendly towards that effort. And I was
>> in a very stressful life situation and I got depressed very deeply and I
>> attempted a suicide in June 2007.
>>
>> Obviously and fortunately, despite determination, I failed.
>>
>> I was getting better quickly, but I was still in a very bad place, both
>> circumstance and mental-wise. I blamed him for ruining my life. But not
>> just mine. I was observing that a fellow sister was getting harsh treatment
>> from another band member. I was super angry that people can tremple other
>> people and get away with it, because everyone was scared of them. And I
>> wanted to diminish the value of my relation with Jaz and I decided to use
>> Paul Raven, who has expressed sexual interest in me earlier that year. And
>> I intended to sleep with him as an act of vengeance for the victims of the
>> abuse of privilege that certain people were given to serve humanity.
>>
>> The little girl who wanted to play God.
>>
>> Raven must have known what had been happening, yet he still was able to
>> show me unconditional love. Given what happened then, I'm moved beyond
>> words by his courage and his big heart. I did have a crush on him. But as I
>> was getting less angry, I started wishing hard that I didn't have to go
>> through with this intent, because I was still in love with Jaz. I don't
>> know what exactly happened to him and what exactly my role in this was. But
>> I've matured enough to feel partially accountable to say the least.
>>
>> I've been learning a really harsh lesson about vengeance over the last 15
>> years. And also that justice is often mistaken with vengeance. So when we
>> call for justice, we must be really careful what we are actually calling
>> for.
>>
>> I want to say that I am sorry.
>>
>> There's more that I want to tell, but everything else is a child play
>> comparing to this part of the story.
>>
>> Well, you're the tribunal.
>>
>> Do judge if you Will. Your choice.
>>
>
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