[kj] a cautionary tale from fatpotanga style...

[uncle benny's magical bra & liquorice factory]

On Friday I had a meeting with our T Shirt supplier.
I hopped on the train & my hour & ten min journey was extended by an extra
80 mins.
Half way through... Lordy!
Too much coffee!
I need a wee!
So off I trundle to the toilets.

This girl beat me to them so I had to dance around outside while she poo¹d,
shaved her legs or whatever she did as she was aaaaaages in there.

Now, I don¹t now if you¹re familiar with the loos on virgin trains but
they¹re all push button with these vast curved doors that slide round slowly
sideways so as to accommodate wheel chairs.
I ran in and hit the big red button to shut the door discovering that I had
actually hit the Œalarm¹ button.
I then see this lift like button of two arrows pointing inwards ³><³ so I
hit that & the door slowly churned inwards.
Thank god, I started to take a leak just as this voice through the intercom
starts asking me if I was alright.
³Fine! Hit the wrong button!² I shouted, trying to drown out the background
chorus of water hitting water.
What an eedjit I though to myself as the door suddenly started to whirr open
on me mid-piss.
Now the toilet is on the wall right next to the door, I am stood up pretty
much facing it so I can only stare in horror as the door starts to whirr
slowly open & I am exposed cock out, mid piss to this this startled looking
man & the corridor.
Being an electric door ­ a very slow moving electric door - neither he nor I
can quickly slam it.
I am also mid flow, facing him & can¹t move without it all getting very
messy.
He blurts an apology and moves away & just as this woman walks past I manage
to reach back enough & hit the ³><³ button again to whirr the door
agonizingly slowly closed.
In my enthusiasm to empty my bladder it turns out I had neglected to press
the second button marked ³L² to lock it.

I am fatpotanga
I am an equal opportunity.
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