[kj] OT: My Turn in Hell

[ade]

> The worst bit is you can't understand why other people might be happy or

smiling and carrying on as normal

Absolutely have felt this myself.
  -----Original Message-----
  From: gathering-bounces at misera.net [mailto:gathering-bounces at misera.net]On
Behalf Of Mike Cooper
  Sent: 28 March 2007 22:16
  To: A list about all things Killing Joke (the band!)
  Subject: Re: [kj] OT: My Turn in Hell


  Really sorry to hear that Matt it's awful and to Alex and everyone who has
worries. To be honest I have been a bit of a coward in responding to people
on the gathering at these times perhaps frightened of saying the wrong thing
etc. I lost my father a long time ago now and we were close.  He died of
cancer and I found it hard to see him in that way - it wasn't my Dad.  You
do learn from it - remember the good times- little things that are personal
(jokes, laughing together, trips), think about them daily (I still do 16
years on) and understand life comes around again - new births etc. The worst
bit is you can't understand why other people might be happy or smiling and
carrying on as normal - but other people are going through it - just look at
the recent posts.  Some people often hide things better. You do come out the
other side and you'll know things are getting better when you can look
someone in the eye and talk about it.

  hang in there
    ----- Original Message -----
    From: Matthew Burke
    To: gathering at misera.net
    Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2007 8:48 PM
    Subject: Re: [kj] OT: My Turn in Hell


    Boy, I stop lurking for a week and everything goes looney.

    For Alex, and other gatherers that responded with parental concerns, and
all my other invisible friends on the list, I'm sorry but I feel compelled
to share some sad news, and that is that my mother passed away suddenly last
week.

    I'm staring down the next phase of my life now without her and needless
to say, it isn't easy.  Though I don't come for sympathy, with all the chat
I've been catching up on here on list, I must advise, as I'm sure Alex can
now attest, tell the ones you love exactly how you feel and everything you
think as soon as you possibly can.  Life changes in a minute, and there's
nothing you can do to reverse it.  I felt I did a good job at this, but even
in near perfect scenarios you'll still have regrets, and you don't want any
so big as to daunt you the rest of your life.

    I have no way yet to describe the depth of the simple description that
they are "not there", but it is a deep black space that reveals itself only
when you arrive at this point, and seems like something time can only
partially heal.

    You guys are in my thoughts.

    That's my bit of cheer for today, thanks,

    m



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