[kj] OT: My Turn in Hell

[Mike Cooper]

Really sorry to hear that Matt it's awful and to Alex and everyone who has worries. To be honest I have been a bit of a coward in responding to people on the gathering at these times perhaps frightened of saying the wrong thing etc. I lost my father a long time ago now and we were close.  He died of cancer and I found it hard to see him in that way - it wasn't my Dad.  You do learn from it - remember the good times- little things that are personal (jokes, laughing together, trips), think about them daily (I still do 16 years on) and understand life comes around again - new births etc. The worst bit is you can't understand why other people might be happy or smiling and carrying on as normal - but other people are going through it - just look at the recent posts.  Some people often hide things better. You do come out the other side and you'll know things are getting better when you can look someone in the eye and talk about it.

hang in there
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Matthew Burke 
  To: gathering at misera.net 
  Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2007 8:48 PM
  Subject: Re: [kj] OT: My Turn in Hell


  Boy, I stop lurking for a week and everything goes looney.
   
  For Alex, and other gatherers that responded with parental concerns, and all my other invisible friends on the list, I'm sorry but I feel compelled to share some sad news, and that is that my mother passed away suddenly last week.  
   
  I'm staring down the next phase of my life now without her and needless to say, it isn't easy.  Though I don't come for sympathy, with all the chat I've been catching up on here on list, I must advise, as I'm sure Alex can now attest, tell the ones you love exactly how you feel and everything you think as soon as you possibly can.  Life changes in a minute, and there's nothing you can do to reverse it.  I felt I did a good job at this, but even in near perfect scenarios you'll still have regrets, and you don't want any so big as to daunt you the rest of your life.
   
  I have no way yet to describe the depth of the simple description that they are "not there", but it is a deep black space that reveals itself only when you arrive at this point, and seems like something time can only partially heal.
   
  You guys are in my thoughts.
   
  That's my bit of cheer for today, thanks,
   
  m



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