[kj] Listen to JOKE..Despize Rollins

Rob rob at westwoodassociates.co.uk
Thu Jul 22 12:47:35 EDT 2004


I was talking about the rubbish jokes but yes bollocks starts with a b

-----Original Message-----
From: gathering-bounces at misera.net
[mailto:gathering-bounces at misera.net]On Behalf Of peter.west410
Sent: 22 July 2004 17:19
To: A list about all things Killing Joke (the band!)
Subject: Re: [kj] Listen to JOKE..Despize Rollins


No not bollocks,I think He meant Nirvana,Bollocks starts with a B

----- Original Message -----
From: "Rob" <rob at westwoodassociates.co.uk>
To: "'A list about all things Killing Joke (the band!)'"
<gathering at misera.net>
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2004 9:51 AM
Subject: RE: [kj] Listen to JOKE..Despize Rollins


> bollocks
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: gathering-bounces at misera.net
> [mailto:gathering-bounces at misera.net]On Behalf Of Stephen Robinson
> Sent: 20 July 2004 23:07
> To: A list about all things Killing Joke (the band!)
> Subject: Re: [kj] Listen to JOKE..Despize Rollins
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Alexander Smith
> To: A list about all things Killing Joke (the band!)
> Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 11:32 PM
> Subject: Re: [kj] Listen to JOKE..Despize Rollins
>
>
>
> I'm proposing a ban on the "N-Word" from this point on.
>
> Alex in NYC
>
>
>
> Oh in that case, following a quick search on t'internet and before it's
> banned:
>
> Did you hear Kurt Cobain was on the TV? ...and on the carpet, the walls,
the
> furniture...
> Did you hear that Nirvana is planning to do another album? If they can
just
> find a lead singer who can keep his head together...
> The new album will be called "Splattermind" and contain such hits as "Kurt
> Shaped Box", "Smells like A Rotting Corpse", "In Bloom: A tribute to
Kurt's
> head", and others.
> Does Kurt Cobain like other kinds of music? Yes, he's a Dead Head.
> Have you heard about the Seattle beer commemorating Kurt Cobain? It's
bitter
> and has no head.
> Have you seen the new MTV show? Kurt Cobain: Plugged.
> How do Princess Di & Kurt Cobain collect their thoughts? With a mop.
> How does Cobain feel about the NBA? He think the Bullets have nowhere to
go
> but up.
> How many Cobains does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to be
> depressed about it, one to take heroin over it, one to sing a bad song
about
> it, and one to shoot it.
> How many members of Nirvana does it take to change a lightbulb? Hopefully,
> not more than two.
> How many times does it take Kurt Cobain to kill himself? Two, if you want
it
> done right.
> Kurt Cobain should have changed his name before he committed
suicide...Kurt
> Gobang!
> Nirvana's last album: "In Utero." Nirvana's next album: "Post Mortem."
It'll
> be number one with a bullet.
> What's got six legs, six arms, and two heads? Nirvana.
> What's red and gray and hanging on the wall behind the sofa? Kurt Cobain's
> brain!
> What's red and has more brains than Kurt Cobain? The wall behind him.
> What's the best thing about Kurt Cobain? His aim!
> What's the difference between Kurt Cobain and a mug of beer? Beer still
> looks good when you blow the head off.
> What's the difference between Kurt Cobain and John Bonham? It took 42
shots
> to kill Bonham.
> What's the first thing that went through his mind when he pulled the
> trigger? His nose!
> What color were Kurt's eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew that
way!
> What did Kurt Cobain say to the electrician when he arrived? Not much.
> What did Kurt Cobain say whenever Nirvana went for a ride in a car? "I
ride
> shotgun!"
> What did Kurt do when he got to the top? He self-destructed.
> What did Kurt have to drink before he died? A couple of shots.
> What do Cobain and Wesley Alan Dodd have in common? Hey man -- just shut
up
> and be glad they're dead.
> What do JFK, Curt Cobain, and Bill Clinton all have in common? They each
> have (or had, in JFK's case) half a brain, and Gore on their backs.
> What do Kurt Cobain and Freddie Mercury have in common? They both sucked a
> tube and died.
> What do Kurt Cobain and hockey have in common? Face-off in the corner.
> What do Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common? They both used their
> brains to paint the ceiling.
> What do Kurt Cobain and W. Bobbit have in common? They both got drunk and
> lost their heads!
> What do you get when you cross Kurt Cobain with Richard Nixon? John
Kennedy.
> What does Kurt Cobain's head have in common with his record sales? They've
> both gone through the roof.
> What does Kurt Cobain smell like now? I don't know but it's sure not Teen
> Spirit.
> What has 2 heads, 4 legs and works at McDonalds? The rest of Nirvana.
> What is Kurt Cobain's favorite album? "nomoremind." And don't forget the
hit
> off the album, "Smells Like Gunsmoke."
> What is the ultimate guage of Cobain's success? 12.
> What sound did Kurt's shotgun make? Kurt-Kurt Cobain.
> What was Kirt Cobain's last hit? The floor.
> What was on Kurt Cobain's suicide note? Mostly blood and powder residue.
> What was the best cure for Kurt Cobain's depression? 12 gauge buckshot.
> What was the best thing that Kurt Cobain ever released? The safety catch
on
> that gun.
> What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love? Hole's gonna be
> real big!
> What was the last thing Kurt said before his face got blown away? "S***, I
> thought this was a microphone!" Or was it, "Is this mike on?"
> What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind, "Molten Lead" or
> his teeth?
> What will Nirvana's next single be? "Bullet in the Head." (Rage against
the
> Machine cover)
> What will Nirvana's next video be? Dancing on the ceiling.
> What will they bury Kurt Cobain in? A heart-shaped box.
> Whats the new singer of Nirvana called? Kurt No-Brain.
> Who makes less money than Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic? Kurt Cobain.
> Why can't you tell any secrets to Kurt Cobain? He'll go shooting off his
> mouth.
> Why couldn't Kurt Cobain become a professional boxer? Because he can't
take
> a blow to the head!
> Why did Courtney Love drive? Because Kurt preferred riding shotgun.
> Why did Kurt Cobain stop doing drugs? He needed them like a hole in his
> head!
> Why did Kurt Cobain use a shotgun? Because anacin was too weak.
> Why did Kurt shoot himself? Because he could no longer shoot up the
charts.
> Why did Nirvana never let Kurt Cobain talk to the press? He kept shooting
> his mouth off.
> Why is it so easy to read Kurt Cobain's mind? You can see right through
his
> head!
> Why was Kurt Cobain so embarrassed? He shot his mouth off once too often.
> Why were there only two pallbearers at his funeral? There's only two
handles
> on a garbage can.
> Why won't they let Kurt Cobain drive convertibles? His head whistles.
> You know, Kurt Cobain would have had a great career -- if he didn't go
> shooting off his mouth!
> What do Kurt Cobain and Trent Reznor have in common? Head like a hole!
> What does NIRVANA stand for?
> Needed
> Immediately
> Reliable
> Vocalist
> Applications
> Now
> Accepted
> Multiple choice: What will Nirvana's next record be?
> My Aim is True
> Up on the Roof
> Going out of my Head
>
>
>
> The upcoming Kurt Cobain tribute album will contain these tunes:
> "Alive" - Pearl Jam
> "Bullet in your head" - Rage Against the Machine
> "I hate myself and want to die" - who else, Nirvana
> "Suicide Solution" (i forgot, Ozzy?) Ozzy, yes. And "solution" refers to
> liquids with ethanol
> "Kill yourself" - S.O.D.
> "I shot the devil" - Suicidal Tendencies
> "War inside my head"
> "Suicidal failure"
> "Suicide's an Alternative"
> "Another One Bites the Dust" - Queen
> "Shotgun Blues" - Guns and Roses
> "Overblown" - Mudhoney
> "Happiness is a Warm Gun" - The Beatles
>
>
> Top Ten Reasons Why Kurt Cobain Shot Himself:
> 10. Wanted to repaint wall a nice shade of "Hint of Brain"
> 9. Ran out of possible 3 chord combinations for songs.
> 8. Too many listeners beginning to understand lyrics.
> 7. If at first you don't succeed, try try again...
> 6. "Which is dangerous, the wooden end or the metal end?"
> 5. Tried to scratch pesky spot behind ear with shotgun.
> 4. Damn Fly!
> 3. "If I don't get this tuned right I'm gonna shoot myself"
> 2. Playing Solitaire Russian Roulette
> And the number one reason:
> 1. Couldn't figure out "Cinnamon Girl" Solo.
>
>
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