[kj] OT::: (fwd) msg from the queen

[Brendan]

Yeah I was running through the calibres, not entirely sure how they marry
with the mms...


> There's also the 9mm, 10mm, 5.56mm, and I think 7.62mm, which are

> about equal to a .38, .40, .22/.223, and i think .30 calibers,

> respectively.

>  

>  

> ... ... ... ... ... ...

>

> [looking at the current state of things..]

>  

> 'Save me...

>   save me from Tomorrow..

>     I don't want to sail in this Ship Of Fools...'  

>  

>

> --- On Thu, 10/23/08, Brendan <bq at soundgardener.co.nz> wrote:

>

> From: Brendan <bq at soundgardener.co.nz>

> Subject: Re: [kj] OT::: (fwd) msg from the queen

> To: "A list about all things Killing Joke (the band!)"

> <gathering at misera.net>

> Date: Thursday, October 23, 2008, 1:16 AM

>

> You guys use the calibre measurement for slugs don't you? .22, .223, .30,

> .50 etc. Confuses the hell out of me, everyone should use fecking

> metric...

>

>> (I thought this was already happening as of

>>  Gordon Brown last week taking the lead in

>>                       the world financial bailout?)

>>  

>>  

>> Now, we have to go back to singing, "God Saves the Queen"

> again?

>> And, rules 7 and 8 will be the complete end of us.

>> [ironically, the only thing we do measure in millimeters are

>>              the size of our bullets - and not all of those,

> either]

>>  

>>  

>>  

>>  

>> What about Hip-Hop?

>>

>>

>>

>> ... ... ... ... ... ...

>>

>> [looking at the current state of things..]

>>  

>> 'Save me...

>>   save me from Tomorrow..

>>     I don't want to sail in this Ship Of Fools...'  

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>> ________________________________

>> From: bongo <humanhybrid666 at gmail.com>

>> To: A list about all things Killing Joke (the band!)

>> <gathering at misera.net>

>> Sent: Wednesday, October 22, 2008 2:56:14 PM

>> Subject: [kj] OT::: (fwd) msg from the queen

>>

>>

>> apologies for the inbox filler, but i thought this quite funny . . .

>>

>> =) 

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>> To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign

>> Majesty

>> Queen Elizabeth  II

>>

>> In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent

>> candidates

>> for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give

>> notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

>>  

>> Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties

>> over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which

>> she

>> does not fancy).

>>  

>> Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for

>> America

>> without the need for further elections.

>>

>> Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

>>  

>> A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of

>> you noticed.

>>  

>> To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following

>> rules are introduced with immediate effect:

>>  

>> (You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English

> Dictionary.)

>>  

>> 1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide.  You will

> be

>> amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

>>  

>> 2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as

> "colour", "favour",

>> "labour" and "neighbour." Likewise, you will learn to

> spell "doughnut"

>> without skipping half the letters,  and the suffix '-ize' will be

> replaced

>> by the suffix '-ise'.  Generally, you will be expected to raise

> your

>> vocabulary to acceptable levels.  (look up "vocabulary").

>>  

>> 3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises

>> such

>> as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and

> inefficient form of

>> communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let

>> M*crosoft

>> know on your behalf. The M*crosoft spell-checker will be adjusted to

>> take

>> into account the reinstated letter "u" and the elimination of 

> -ize.

>>

>> 4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

>>  

>> 5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,

>> lawyers,

>> or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists

>> shows

>> that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be

> used

>> for shooting grouse.  If you can't sort things out without suing

> someone

>> or speaking to a therapist then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

>>

>> 6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything

>> more

>> dangerous than a vegetable peeler.  Although a permit will be required

>> if

>> you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

>>  

>> 7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will

>> start

>> driving on the left side with immediate effect.  At the same time, you

>> will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of

>> conversion

>> tables.

>>

>> Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British

>> sense of humour.

>>  

>> 8. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been

>> calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

>>  

>> 9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries

>> are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips

>> are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal

>> fat,

>> and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

>>  

>> 10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually

>> beer at all.  Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to

>> as beer, and European brews of  known and accepted provenance will be

>> referred to as Lager.  South African beer is also acceptable as they are

>> pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be

>> due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what

>> it

>> did for them.  American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen

> Gnat's

>> Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

>>

>> 11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as

>> good

>> guys.  Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play

>> English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in

>> Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's

> ears

>> removed with a cheese grater.

>>  

>> 12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of

>> proper football; you call it soccer.  Those of you brave enough will, in

>> time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American

>> football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds

>> or

>> wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).  Don't try

> rugby

>> - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly

>> thrash

>> us.

>>

>> 13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to

>> host

>> an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside

>> of

>> America.  Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyondyour

>> borders, your error is understandable.  You will learn cricket, and we

>> will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of

>> their

>> deliveries.

>>

>> 14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

>>  

>> 15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's

>> Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all

>> monies due (backdated to 1776).

>>

>> 16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with

>> saucers,

>> and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus

>> strawberries (with cream) when in season.

>>

>> God Save the Queen!

>>

>> --

>>

>>

>> "due to a lack of trained trumpeters, the end of the world has been

>> postponed indefinitely..."

>>

>>

>>

>>       _______________________________________________

>> Gathering mailing list

>> Gathering at misera.net

>> http://four.pairlist.net/mailman/listinfo/gathering

>>

>

>

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>

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