[kj] Jester

Sun May 14 23:37:43 EDT 2006

Joe,

Well put.  As Joe's friend I will back him up on this. Now can you  leave him 
alone and not mention this bullshit that so happened on the board.  Time to 
move foward not backwards.

~LB

In a message dated 5/14/2006 8:22:16 P.M. Pacific Standard Time,  
webmaster at killing-joke.com writes:

To  address a couple of things...

1. I closed the site because I am sick  and dont have the time to 
effectively fight for information. I was tired  of being the only 
contact for cancelled shows, and GOP, which will most  likely never see 
the light of day, and to my knowledge, no one has seen a  refund on it 
and those people are rightfully angry about it. I am just the  wrong 
person to ask about it, because I have no control over it.

I  am not stopping anyone from starting their own site, and it is not my  
problem or fault that Jaz does not support nor endorse certain other  
sites and has as recently as less than a week ago, requested that if my  
health allows in the future, to please resume killing-joke.com with his  
full support.

Also, around the time I closed the site, I was having  really horrible 
reactions to treatment, then got the flu, then got  salmonella, and in 
between there, a friend comitted suicide, and myself  and her son were 
the last two people to have any conversation with  her.

I wont even get into the problems my oldest son is having in  school 
because of watching me go through treatments. We try and shield  them as 
much as we can from the worst sides of chemo, but he still can  hear me 
getting sick and still sees the pain, and this has caused him some  
problems with lashing out in school.

Needless to say, there has  been a lot going on, and I didn't have it in 
me to run the  site.

That said, I have left the site up and running (killing-joke.com)  as an 
archive for any info that is on it regarding the band....it is all  
still there.

2. I was asked to help with Mob Research site and  possibly a few other 
related sites. It is a job, and I am damn thankful  for it. I need to 
work as much as I can, when I can, because like everyone  else, I have 
bills to pay. Unlike everyone else, I have medical expenses  on top of 
other every day typical bills. If you look, it aint like I am  sitting 
there posting several times a day, nor do I really anticipate that  
being the case. It took about two hours to do everything to get the  
site up and going as it is now.

I never once posted about Mob  Research here, or anywhere else Killing 
Joke related, including  Killing-joke.com, until this email to address 
these questions.

3.  As far was the questions, accusations or outright claims that I am 
not  sick...here is a bit of info regarding that.

Anyone who has ever been  sick knows you have good and bad days. Some 
days, I feel decent and can  get some work done, other days, I cant get 
out of the bed. I guess thats  the nature of this beast. Also, different 
doctors have different plans of  treatment, and when you have insurance 
(ours kicked in in late October),  the level of care in the US gets 
better. Odd how that works.

As  with anyone who has to undergo any amount of chemo and radiation, in  
addition to rheumatoid arthritis treatments, your immune system takes a  
beating. A lot of health problems through April and May have been flu  
related, an infection in two wisdom teeth I had cut out, and salmonella  
that I could not recover from without extended high doses of cipro and  
amoxil (antibiotics) and IV's of saline because of the dehydration  
issues.

As far as people wondering what the money went for? Medical  insurance 
is $463.73 twice a month (1st and 15th of the month), for our  Aetna EPO 
family insurance. Protonix, Ambien, Colozal are all $60.00 a  month. 
Tramadol, Vicodin, Norco, Dicyclomine, Sulfasalazine, Prednisone,  
Asacol, Sucralfate, Darvocet N100, etc. are all $10 - $20 a month each,  
in co pays. Every time I go for treatment, it is $25.00 per visit. Any  
time I go to the general physician, it is a $25.00 copay, any time I go  
to the rhematologist, it is $25.00, any time I go to the  
gastroenterologist, it is $25.00. Hospital visits are a $50 copay. I  
make visits to various doctors for treatments and such at least once to  
3 times a week, and there are still hospital visits.

More  photographic proof than whats already been posted on the blog? You 
know,  this sort of goes in the same class as when Peter West accused 
Mel of  lying about the London tube Bombings. But since some proof was 
asked for,  and I do feel that if you ask you do have a right to know, 
here you  go.

Photo 1 is of some of my meds, my endoscopy image sheet (you can  see 
the bleeding in the top two images, and the malformation of cells in  
the bottom left is pretty apparent as well. Esophageal cells are  
suppose to be smooth, not rippled like that. You can see bleeding in  
the bottom right image too), my LiveStrong binder, and Melanie's (my  
friend who committed suicide) funeral memorial  paper.

http://www.killing-joke.com/meds/m100_2531.jpg

Photo 2 is  more meds taken late last  year:

http://www.killing-joke.com/meds/631895260_l.jpg

I have  been stuck so many times with IV's and bloot tests, I have 
permanent   scarring in various spots. Here is one of the scars I have 
(sorry the pic  is a little fuzzy but you should be able to  tell):

http://www.killing-joke.com/meds/iv_scar100_2537.jpg

Here  is a close up of a receipt from March, just to show I am not 
bullshitting  about the co pay on some of these meds. I buy different 
meds at different  times of the month to stagger the  cost.

http://www.killing-joke.com/meds/recp3_15_06_100_2532.jpg

Portion  of paycheck stub detailing costs of insurance benefits..this is 
quite a  high percentage for someone who makes $20,800  annually:

http://www.killing-joke.com/ins_stub.jpg

Malcolm,  as far as accusations about what I said or posted to you, can 
you please  post a link to these posts I allegedly made, cause I 
honestly do not  remember calling you a thief. I do recall us having a 
load of  disagreements over Clarky posting about the email you sent 
about a fake  suicide, but I dont recall saying "Malcolm is a thief". If 
there is  something like that on the site, that I or anyone posted, then 
send a link  and will clear it up. My whole issue with you was the 
proliferation of the  fake suicide and claiming that I or anyone else 
caused it...when it never  even happened in the first place.

As far as Allan (CrimsonDynamo) being  banned, that simply is not true. 
He was never banned. He demanded we ban  "CommieKiller" for the user 
name, and when we refused, he and his  girlfriend posted they were 
leaving because I refused to ban  "CommieKiller". Allan will claim I 
called his girlfriend a whore, and that  is untrue as well. I did call 
him an "attention whore", which he more than  has proven it's truth by 
starting this thread, this past week. Attention  whore and whore are two 
different things. Fuck, stay on this list long  enough and you will most 
likely be called worse.

Peter West and a  few others have emailed me asking who the The 
Hierophant is. I know there  were accusations that it is Darryl Morris 
aka LordMoloch, but he denied  it. The message board image is even 
hosted by his ISP webspace. Why deny  who you are? Seems odd, but maybe 
that is a prime example of why the band  wants nothing to do with that 
message  board.

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/darryl.morris2/Pandemoniumbig.jpg

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/darryl.morris2

A  few of you complain that I talked about cancer on the message board 
so on  and so forth. Yeah, I guess I did. Was my mistake. It has been a 
fucked up  time period. Before I got sick and was working, I rarely 
posted on the  message board, and rarely was in the chat room. I 
apologize for dragging  cancer to the message board. Just one more 
reason for you guys who took  such an exception to that, to be glad it's 
gone because it is impossible  for me to separate it [cancer] from 
anything, then and now. I was and  still am freaked out by this. You 
guys have your own message board to run  as you see fit, and I have 
closed the old one down. I seriously do not see  why this is even 
brought up so many weeks after the thing has been  closed.

Now, can you just leave me the fuck alone? You have your proof,  the 
reasons I quit doing the site, and answers to some questions. I  suppose 
the main thing was the proof. I have gone so far as to post pics  of 
some of my meds, part of my wife's paycheck stub, and images of my  
esophagus. The site is closed, my work like other sites I build is as  
much your business as your job is my business, and you have your  
photographic proof of my illness. Time to move  on.

J

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