[kj] Jester

Jester webmaster at killing-joke.com
Sun May 14 23:22:03 EDT 2006


To address a couple of things...

1. I closed the site because I am sick and dont have the time to 
effectively fight for information. I was tired of being the only 
contact for cancelled shows, and GOP, which will most likely never see 
the light of day, and to my knowledge, no one has seen a refund on it 
and those people are rightfully angry about it. I am just the wrong 
person to ask about it, because I have no control over it.

I am not stopping anyone from starting their own site, and it is not my 
problem or fault that Jaz does not support nor endorse certain other 
sites and has as recently as less than a week ago, requested that if my 
health allows in the future, to please resume killing-joke.com with his 
full support.

Also, around the time I closed the site, I was having really horrible 
reactions to treatment, then got the flu, then got salmonella, and in 
between there, a friend comitted suicide, and myself and her son were 
the last two people to have any conversation with her.

I wont even get into the problems my oldest son is having in school 
because of watching me go through treatments. We try and shield them as 
much as we can from the worst sides of chemo, but he still can hear me 
getting sick and still sees the pain, and this has caused him some 
problems with lashing out in school.

Needless to say, there has been a lot going on, and I didn't have it in 
me to run the site.

That said, I have left the site up and running (killing-joke.com) as an 
archive for any info that is on it regarding the band....it is all 
still there.

2. I was asked to help with Mob Research site and possibly a few other 
related sites. It is a job, and I am damn thankful for it. I need to 
work as much as I can, when I can, because like everyone else, I have 
bills to pay. Unlike everyone else, I have medical expenses on top of 
other every day typical bills. If you look, it aint like I am sitting 
there posting several times a day, nor do I really anticipate that 
being the case. It took about two hours to do everything to get the 
site up and going as it is now.

I never once posted about Mob Research here, or anywhere else Killing 
Joke related, including Killing-joke.com, until this email to address 
these questions.

3. As far was the questions, accusations or outright claims that I am 
not sick...here is a bit of info regarding that.

Anyone who has ever been sick knows you have good and bad days. Some 
days, I feel decent and can get some work done, other days, I cant get 
out of the bed. I guess thats the nature of this beast. Also, different 
doctors have different plans of treatment, and when you have insurance 
(ours kicked in in late October), the level of care in the US gets 
better. Odd how that works.

As with anyone who has to undergo any amount of chemo and radiation, in 
addition to rheumatoid arthritis treatments, your immune system takes a 
beating. A lot of health problems through April and May have been flu 
related, an infection in two wisdom teeth I had cut out, and salmonella 
that I could not recover from without extended high doses of cipro and 
amoxil (antibiotics) and IV's of saline because of the dehydration 
issues.

As far as people wondering what the money went for? Medical insurance 
is $463.73 twice a month (1st and 15th of the month), for our Aetna EPO 
family insurance. Protonix, Ambien, Colozal are all $60.00 a month. 
Tramadol, Vicodin, Norco, Dicyclomine, Sulfasalazine, Prednisone, 
Asacol, Sucralfate, Darvocet N100, etc. are all $10 - $20 a month each, 
in co pays. Every time I go for treatment, it is $25.00 per visit. Any 
time I go to the general physician, it is a $25.00 copay, any time I go 
to the rhematologist, it is $25.00, any time I go to the 
gastroenterologist, it is $25.00. Hospital visits are a $50 copay. I 
make visits to various doctors for treatments and such at least once to 
3 times a week, and there are still hospital visits.

More photographic proof than whats already been posted on the blog? You 
know, this sort of goes in the same class as when Peter West accused 
Mel of lying about the London tube Bombings. But since some proof was 
asked for, and I do feel that if you ask you do have a right to know, 
here you go.

Photo 1 is of some of my meds, my endoscopy image sheet (you can see 
the bleeding in the top two images, and the malformation of cells in 
the bottom left is pretty apparent as well. Esophageal cells are 
suppose to be smooth, not rippled like that. You can see bleeding in 
the bottom right image too), my LiveStrong binder, and Melanie's (my 
friend who committed suicide) funeral memorial paper.

http://www.killing-joke.com/meds/m100_2531.jpg

Photo 2 is more meds taken late last year:

http://www.killing-joke.com/meds/631895260_l.jpg

I have been stuck so many times with IV's and bloot tests, I have 
permanent  scarring in various spots. Here is one of the scars I have 
(sorry the pic is a little fuzzy but you should be able to tell):

http://www.killing-joke.com/meds/iv_scar100_2537.jpg

Here is a close up of a receipt from March, just to show I am not 
bullshitting about the co pay on some of these meds. I buy different 
meds at different times of the month to stagger the cost.

http://www.killing-joke.com/meds/recp3_15_06_100_2532.jpg

Portion of paycheck stub detailing costs of insurance benefits..this is 
quite a high percentage for someone who makes $20,800 annually:

http://www.killing-joke.com/ins_stub.jpg


Malcolm, as far as accusations about what I said or posted to you, can 
you please post a link to these posts I allegedly made, cause I 
honestly do not remember calling you a thief. I do recall us having a 
load of disagreements over Clarky posting about the email you sent 
about a fake suicide, but I dont recall saying "Malcolm is a thief". If 
there is something like that on the site, that I or anyone posted, then 
send a link and will clear it up. My whole issue with you was the 
proliferation of the fake suicide and claiming that I or anyone else 
caused it...when it never even happened in the first place.

As far as Allan (CrimsonDynamo) being banned, that simply is not true. 
He was never banned. He demanded we ban "CommieKiller" for the user 
name, and when we refused, he and his girlfriend posted they were 
leaving because I refused to ban "CommieKiller". Allan will claim I 
called his girlfriend a whore, and that is untrue as well. I did call 
him an "attention whore", which he more than has proven it's truth by 
starting this thread, this past week. Attention whore and whore are two 
different things. Fuck, stay on this list long enough and you will most 
likely be called worse.

Peter West and a few others have emailed me asking who the The 
Hierophant is. I know there were accusations that it is Darryl Morris 
aka LordMoloch, but he denied it. The message board image is even 
hosted by his ISP webspace. Why deny who you are? Seems odd, but maybe 
that is a prime example of why the band wants nothing to do with that 
message board.

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/darryl.morris2/Pandemoniumbig.jpg

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/darryl.morris2

A few of you complain that I talked about cancer on the message board 
so on and so forth. Yeah, I guess I did. Was my mistake. It has been a 
fucked up time period. Before I got sick and was working, I rarely 
posted on the message board, and rarely was in the chat room. I 
apologize for dragging cancer to the message board. Just one more 
reason for you guys who took such an exception to that, to be glad it's 
gone because it is impossible for me to separate it [cancer] from 
anything, then and now. I was and still am freaked out by this. You 
guys have your own message board to run as you see fit, and I have 
closed the old one down. I seriously do not see why this is even 
brought up so many weeks after the thing has been closed.

Now, can you just leave me the fuck alone? You have your proof, the 
reasons I quit doing the site, and answers to some questions. I suppose 
the main thing was the proof. I have gone so far as to post pics of 
some of my meds, part of my wife's paycheck stub, and images of my 
esophagus. The site is closed, my work like other sites I build is as 
much your business as your job is my business, and you have your 
photographic proof of my illness. Time to move on.

J



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