[kj] OT -- Metal Joke

[Graeme Rowland]

But Leigh, haven't you heard?

There is an evil VIRUS threatening mankind!!!!

 --- Leigh Newton <angrytomhanks at yahoo.com> wrote: 
> this is hilarious, except the Thrash one should
> read:
> 
> The protagonist arrives, pays no attention to the
> princess, and bores the dragon to death with an
> endless discussion about several pressing social
> issues (war, the environment, corrupt politicians,
> tv
> evangelists, insane asylums, etc)
> 
> Leigh
> 
> --- sade1 <saulomar1 at yahoo.com> wrote:
> 
> > Metal Joke
> > 
> >   This is the situation: there's a beautiful
> > princess trapped in
> > a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of
> the
> > story with
> > different styles of metalheads as knights.(can do
> > w/out the
> > raping, though)
> > 
> > POWER METAL:
> > 
> > The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn,
> > escapes from the
> > dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her
> in
> > an enchanted
> > forest.
> > 
> > THRASH METAL:
> > 
> > The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves
> > the princes
> > and fucks her.
> > 
> > HEAVY METAL:
> > 
> > The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the
> > dragon, drinks a
> > few
> > beers and fucks the princess.
> > 
> > FOLK METAL:
> > 
> > The protagonist arrives with some friends playing
> > acordions,
> > violins, flutes and many more weird instruments,
> the
> > dragon
> > falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then all
> > leave....without the princess.
> > 
> > VIKING METAL:
> > 
> > The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the
> dragon
> > with his
> > mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes
> the
> > princess to
> > death, steals her belongings and burns the castle
> > before
> > leaving.
> > 
> > DEATH METAL:
> > 
> > The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks
> the
> > princess
> > and kills her, then leaves.
> > 
> > BLACK METAL:
> > 
> > The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the
> > dragon and
> > impales it in front of the castle. Then he
> sodomises
> > the
> > princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before
> > killing her. Then
> > he impales the princess next to the dragon.
> > 
> > GORE METAL:
> > 
> > The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and
> > spreads his guts
> > in front of the castle, fucks the princess and
> kills
> > her. Then
> > he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly
> and
> > eats her
> > guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third
> time,
> > burns the
> > corpse and fucks it for the last time.
> > 
> > DOOM METAL:
> > 
> > The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the
> dragon
> > and thinks
> > he could never beat him, then he gets depressed
> and
> > commits
> > suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess
> > as dessert.
> > That's the end of the sad story.
> > 
> > PROGRESIVE METAL:
> > 
> > The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a
> > solo of 26
> > minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom.
> > The
> > protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom,
> plays
> > another solo
> > with all the techniques and tunes he learned in
> the
> > last year of
> > the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for
> > the "HEAVY
> > METAL" protagonist.
> > 
> > GLAM METAL:
> > 
> > The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the
> > guy's
> > appearance and lets him enter. He steals the
> > princess' make-up
> > and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink
> > color.
> > 
> > NU METAL:
> > 
> > The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic
> > and attempts
> > to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his
> > moronic baggy
> > clothes catch fire. 
> > 
> > =====
> > ...  ...  ...  ...  ...  ...  
> > As the masters rot on walls
> > And the angels eat their grapes
> > I watched picasso 
> > visit the planet of the apes
> > 
> > 
> > 		
> > __________________________________ 
> > Do you Yahoo!? 
> > Yahoo! Mail - Helps protect you from nasty
> viruses. 
> > http://promotions.yahoo.com/new_mail
> > _______________________________________________
> > Gathering mailing list
> > Gathering at misera.net
> >
> http://four.pairlist.net/mailman/listinfo/gathering
> > 
> 
> 
> 
> 		
> __________________________________ 
> Do you Yahoo!? 
> Take Yahoo! Mail with you! Get it on your mobile
> phone. 
> http://mobile.yahoo.com/maildemo 
> _______________________________________________
> Gathering mailing list
> Gathering at misera.net
> http://four.pairlist.net/mailman/listinfo/gathering
>  

=====
Cracked Machine irregular cyberzine
http://www.webinfo.co.uk/crackedmachine

"What one thinks of as extremes seldom are" :: BC Gilbert


	
	
		
___________________________________________________________ 
ALL-NEW Yahoo! Messenger - all new features - even more fun! http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com