[kj] OT -- Metal Joke

[sade1]

  That's waht i thought after rereading it. The 'management'
part killed me. 

--- Jpwhkj at aol.com wrote:

> That was the princess / cardigan reference.
> 
> <saulomar1 at yahoo.com> writes:
> 
> >That was funny. Thanks. 
> >Liked the Antoni-shooting-warhorses bit. But, no Mike Coles?
> >
> >--- Jpwhkj at aol.com wrote:
> >
> >> Killing Joke arrive by aeroplane, from Prague, LA, NZ,
> Milton
> >> Keynes, etc. Geordie stands there swaying, smoking, playing
> >> guitar, and generally looking cool while Jaz rants at the
> >> dragon. Raven drinks some beer, then sets his pit bulls on
> the
> >> dragon. Meanwhile Youth has skinned up, and several session
> >> drummers have come and gone. The princess meanwhile has
> spent
> >> her time knitting Killing Joke cardigans, which are
> >> confiscated by the management who arrive shortly after the
> >> dragon dies.
> >> 
> >> Motley Crue arrive, and Tommy Lee videos himself fucking
> the
> >> princess.
> >> 
> >> Then it turns out that Antoni is also in the castle, having
> >> been locked up for taking photos of warhorses.
> >> 
> >> I could go on, but...
> >> 
> >> 
> >> >Metal Joke
> >> >
> >> >  This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess
> trapped
> >> in
> >> >a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story
> >> with
> >> >different styles of metalheads as knights.(can do w/out
> the
> >> >raping, though)
> >> >
> >> >POWER METAL:
> >> >
> >> >The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes
> from
> >> the
> >> >dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an
> >> enchanted
> >> >forest.
> >> >
> >> >THRASH METAL:
> >> >
> >> >The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the
> princes
> >> >and fucks her.
> >> >
> >> >HEAVY METAL:
> >> >
> >> >The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon,
> drinks
> >> a
> >> >few
> >> >beers and fucks the princess.
> >> >
> >> >FOLK METAL:
> >> >
> >> >The protagonist arrives with some friends playing
> acordions,
> >> >violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the
> dragon
> >> >falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then all
> >> >leave....without the princess.
> >> >
> >> >VIKING METAL:
> >> >
> >> >The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with
> his
> >> >mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the
> princess
> >> to
> >> >death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before
> >> >leaving.
> >> >
> >> >DEATH METAL:
> >> >
> >> >The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the
> princess
> >> >and kills her, then leaves.
> >> >
> >> >BLACK METAL:
> >> >
> >> >The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and
> >> >impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the
> >> >princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.
> >> Then
> >> >he impales the princess next to the dragon.
> >> >
> >> >GORE METAL:
> >> >
> >> >The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his
> >> guts
> >> >in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her.
> >> Then
> >> >he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats
> her
> >> >guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns
> the
> >> >corpse and fucks it for the last time.
> >> >
> >> >DOOM METAL:
> >> >
> >> >The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and
> >> thinks
> >> >he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and
> commits
> >> >suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as
> >> dessert.
> >> >That's the end of the sad story.
> >> >
> >> >PROGRESIVE METAL:
> >> >
> >> >The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of
> 26
> >> >minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The
> >> >protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays
> another
> >> solo
> >> >with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last
> year
> >> of
> >> >the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the
> "HEAVY
> >> >METAL" protagonist.
> >> >
> >> >GLAM METAL:
> >> >
> >> >The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's
> >> >appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess'
> >> make-up
> >> >and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.
> >> >
> >> >NU METAL:
> >> >
> >> >The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and
> >> attempts
> >> >to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic
> >> baggy
> >> >clothes catch fire. 
> >> >
> >> >=====
> >> >...  ...  ...  ...  ...  ...  
> >> >As the masters rot on walls
> >> >And the angels eat their grapes
> >> >I watched picasso 
> >> >visit the planet of the apes
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >        
> >> >__________________________________ 
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> >> >
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> >> 
> >
> >
> >=====
> >...  ...  ...  ...  ...  ...  
> >As the masters rot on walls
> >And the angels eat their grapes
> >I watched picasso 
> >visit the planet of the apes
> >
> >
> >        
> >__________________________________ 
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> 


=====
...  ...  ...  ...  ...  ...  
As the masters rot on walls
And the angels eat their grapes
I watched picasso 
visit the planet of the apes


	
		
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