[kj] OT -- Metal Joke

[Jpwhkj at aol.com]

That was the princess / cardigan reference.

<saulomar1 at yahoo.com> writes:

>That was funny. Thanks. 
>Liked the Antoni-shooting-warhorses bit. But, no Mike Coles?
>
>--- Jpwhkj at aol.com wrote:
>
>> Killing Joke arrive by aeroplane, from Prague, LA, NZ, Milton
>> Keynes, etc. Geordie stands there swaying, smoking, playing
>> guitar, and generally looking cool while Jaz rants at the
>> dragon. Raven drinks some beer, then sets his pit bulls on the
>> dragon. Meanwhile Youth has skinned up, and several session
>> drummers have come and gone. The princess meanwhile has spent
>> her time knitting Killing Joke cardigans, which are
>> confiscated by the management who arrive shortly after the
>> dragon dies.
>> 
>> Motley Crue arrive, and Tommy Lee videos himself fucking the
>> princess.
>> 
>> Then it turns out that Antoni is also in the castle, having
>> been locked up for taking photos of warhorses.
>> 
>> I could go on, but...
>> 
>> 
>> >Metal Joke
>> >
>> >  This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess trapped
>> in
>> >a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story
>> with
>> >different styles of metalheads as knights.(can do w/out the
>> >raping, though)
>> >
>> >POWER METAL:
>> >
>> >The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from
>> the
>> >dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an
>> enchanted
>> >forest.
>> >
>> >THRASH METAL:
>> >
>> >The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes
>> >and fucks her.
>> >
>> >HEAVY METAL:
>> >
>> >The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks
>> a
>> >few
>> >beers and fucks the princess.
>> >
>> >FOLK METAL:
>> >
>> >The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions,
>> >violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon
>> >falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then all
>> >leave....without the princess.
>> >
>> >VIKING METAL:
>> >
>> >The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his
>> >mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess
>> to
>> >death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before
>> >leaving.
>> >
>> >DEATH METAL:
>> >
>> >The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess
>> >and kills her, then leaves.
>> >
>> >BLACK METAL:
>> >
>> >The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and
>> >impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the
>> >princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.
>> Then
>> >he impales the princess next to the dragon.
>> >
>> >GORE METAL:
>> >
>> >The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his
>> guts
>> >in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her.
>> Then
>> >he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her
>> >guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the
>> >corpse and fucks it for the last time.
>> >
>> >DOOM METAL:
>> >
>> >The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and
>> thinks
>> >he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits
>> >suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as
>> dessert.
>> >That's the end of the sad story.
>> >
>> >PROGRESIVE METAL:
>> >
>> >The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26
>> >minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The
>> >protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another
>> solo
>> >with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year
>> of
>> >the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY
>> >METAL" protagonist.
>> >
>> >GLAM METAL:
>> >
>> >The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's
>> >appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess'
>> make-up
>> >and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.
>> >
>> >NU METAL:
>> >
>> >The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and
>> attempts
>> >to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic
>> baggy
>> >clothes catch fire. 
>> >
>> >=====
>> >...  ...  ...  ...  ...  ...  
>> >As the masters rot on walls
>> >And the angels eat their grapes
>> >I watched picasso 
>> >visit the planet of the apes
>> >
>> >
>> >        
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>
>
>=====
>...  ...  ...  ...  ...  ...  
>As the masters rot on walls
>And the angels eat their grapes
>I watched picasso 
>visit the planet of the apes
>
>
>        
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