[kj] OT -- Metal Joke

sade1 saulomar1 at yahoo.com
Fri Jan 7 13:47:59 EST 2005


That was funny. Thanks. 
Liked the Antoni-shooting-warhorses bit. But, no Mike Coles?

--- Jpwhkj at aol.com wrote:

> Killing Joke arrive by aeroplane, from Prague, LA, NZ, Milton
> Keynes, etc. Geordie stands there swaying, smoking, playing
> guitar, and generally looking cool while Jaz rants at the
> dragon. Raven drinks some beer, then sets his pit bulls on the
> dragon. Meanwhile Youth has skinned up, and several session
> drummers have come and gone. The princess meanwhile has spent
> her time knitting Killing Joke cardigans, which are
> confiscated by the management who arrive shortly after the
> dragon dies.
> 
> Motley Crue arrive, and Tommy Lee videos himself fucking the
> princess.
> 
> Then it turns out that Antoni is also in the castle, having
> been locked up for taking photos of warhorses.
> 
> I could go on, but...
> 
> 
> >Metal Joke
> >
> >  This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess trapped
> in
> >a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story
> with
> >different styles of metalheads as knights.(can do w/out the
> >raping, though)
> >
> >POWER METAL:
> >
> >The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from
> the
> >dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an
> enchanted
> >forest.
> >
> >THRASH METAL:
> >
> >The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes
> >and fucks her.
> >
> >HEAVY METAL:
> >
> >The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks
> a
> >few
> >beers and fucks the princess.
> >
> >FOLK METAL:
> >
> >The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions,
> >violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon
> >falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then all
> >leave....without the princess.
> >
> >VIKING METAL:
> >
> >The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his
> >mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess
> to
> >death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before
> >leaving.
> >
> >DEATH METAL:
> >
> >The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess
> >and kills her, then leaves.
> >
> >BLACK METAL:
> >
> >The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and
> >impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the
> >princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.
> Then
> >he impales the princess next to the dragon.
> >
> >GORE METAL:
> >
> >The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his
> guts
> >in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her.
> Then
> >he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her
> >guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the
> >corpse and fucks it for the last time.
> >
> >DOOM METAL:
> >
> >The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and
> thinks
> >he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits
> >suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as
> dessert.
> >That's the end of the sad story.
> >
> >PROGRESIVE METAL:
> >
> >The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26
> >minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The
> >protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another
> solo
> >with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year
> of
> >the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY
> >METAL" protagonist.
> >
> >GLAM METAL:
> >
> >The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's
> >appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess'
> make-up
> >and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.
> >
> >NU METAL:
> >
> >The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and
> attempts
> >to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic
> baggy
> >clothes catch fire. 
> >
> >=====
> >...  ...  ...  ...  ...  ...  
> >As the masters rot on walls
> >And the angels eat their grapes
> >I watched picasso 
> >visit the planet of the apes
> >
> >
> >        
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> >
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> 


=====
...  ...  ...  ...  ...  ...  
As the masters rot on walls
And the angels eat their grapes
I watched picasso 
visit the planet of the apes


		
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