[kj] Back in NYC/Custom Troubles/Big Thanks/PICTURES!

Alexander Smith vassifer at earthlink.net
Mon Feb 28 18:43:13 EST 2005


Oh fuck....did the Scottish accent rear its Sean Connery-sized head? 
Yikes!

I do have an intensely annoying habit of adopting all stripes of 
accents when (a) drunk and (b) around individuals for whom those 
accents come naturally. Apologies, in any case.

Cheers,
Alex in NYC



On Monday, February 28, 2005, at 05:55 PM, gingoblin at easynet.co.uk 
wrote:

> I enjoyed your comedy Scottish accent Alex!    And sorry, I never did 
> get you that drink... though I did try! Next time though. I can't 
> fucking wait 'til the next gig... thursday/friday were just > incredible!
>
> cheers,
>            Dave in Edinburgh, soon to also be in NYC!
>
>
> At 20:46 27/02/2005 -0500, you wrote:
>
>> Oh, I forgot the Gingoblin, who was also a great guy!
>>
>> Alex in NYC
>>
>>
>> On Sunday, February 27, 2005, at 08:32 PM, Alexander Smith wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> Good lord am I fucking tired. Yeah, this is another long one, but 
>>> gimme a break. And there are links to pics at the bottom.
>>>
>>> Alex Back in NYC reporting once again for Active Duty.
>>>
>>> Got in this morning (after traipsing around London all day Saturday 
>>> with List-Meister Misera). My flight was chock-full of THREE British 
>>> high school classes combined on their way to a big communal visit to 
>>> NYC. It was like flying over the Atlantic in a massive fucking 
>>> school bus. Mr.inNYC was NOT at all pleased. They were fine, though, 
>>> for the most part. On the way off the plane, who should be greeting 
>>> me as I cross the threshold but Mr.RICHARD BRANSON, VIRGIN CEO 
>>> himself! Actually shook the man's hand. Stranger than fiction.
>>>
>>> ....and then things got shitty again.
>>>
>>> I was pulled over -- quite unexpectedly and frustratingly 
>>> inexplicably -- by U.S. CUSTOMS. That's right, MY OWN FUCKING 
>>> COUNTRY decided that it needed to have a little chatty-chat with me. 
>>> Going through the motions at the custom's gate, the decidedly 
>>> unsmiling man behind the desk drew a BIG YELLOW LINE down my 
>>> declaration card and told me to "see the gate clerk." Not clued in 
>>> that something was up, said clerk said "go see Number 15!". Okay. I 
>>> walk over to Number Fifteen (despite the good-natured entreaties of 
>>> clearly bored Number Sixteen, a jovial black gent). Oh no, I went 
>>> with equally unsmiling Number Fifteen, a true jarhead with a buzzcut 
>>> and a bad attitude. At this point, I *STILL* haven't realized that 
>>> something is up. "Have you ever been in trouble with Customs before, 
>>> sir?" he barks. "Umm.....what do you mean before? Am I in trouble 
>>> with Customs NOW?" "Just answer the question, sir!" Fuck. "No sir." 
>>> "Have you ever lived in Seattle?" "Ummmm....no, I'm a native New 
>>> Yorker and always have been --- and have lots of documentation to 
>>> support it". "What do you do for a living, sir?" "Ummm...I'm a 
>>> journalist, I supp..." "LET ME SEE YOUR PASSPORT NUMBER 
>>> IMMEDIATELY!" By this point, I'm getting alarmed. "Ummm....is 
>>> something wrong?" I'm panicking now, as I didn't declare the six 
>>> little jars of fancy mustard I bought at Fortnum & Mason for my 
>>> mother-in-law. But, somewhat surprisingly, they don't look in my 
>>> bag. Lots of frowning, typing, brow-furrowing and suspicious 
>>> staring. Finally, some stamping of my passport and I'm given a 
>>> "comment card". "Am I in trouble, officer?" I ask...sounding 
>>> worryingly like Shaggy in 'Scooby-Do'. "I'm not allowed to tell you, 
>>> sir, but if you contact the address in the document I just handed 
>>> you, perhaps they can elaborate. With a last name as common as 
>>> yours......" he trailed off. And waved me off. And off I went, 
>>> shaken and paranoid. I still haven't the faintest clue why the 
>>> pulled me aside, but I have the sneaking suspicion that it might've 
>>> had *EVERYTHING* to do with the "MALICIOUS DAMAGE OPERATIVE" badge I 
>>> was sporting on my jacket lapel. I'll get you for this, Coles.
>>>
>>>
>>> Alright, enough about that. Here's the meaty part. I'd just like to 
>>> truly thank *EACH AND EVERY GATHERER AND GATHERER-ASSOCIATE* I was 
>>> fortunate enough to come into contact with in the past three days. 
>>> I'm worried about citing names, as I'm deathly afraid of leaving 
>>> anybody out, but I feel I'd be truly, truly remiss if I didn't 
>>> specifically thank.....
>>>
>>>
>>> ** Rob Moss ** -- Rob was a gent enough to pick me up at Heathrow 
>>> and shepherd me around the town for both gigs, more or less making 
>>> sure I didn't get into any serious trouble. He may be a big looking 
>>> gent and have a serious problem with displaying his below-the-belt 
>>> equipment, but he's truly a stand-up, lovable guy. I hope you are 
>>> feeling better after splitting early on Friday, Rob, and I hope you 
>>> made it home safely back to Oxford (home of Ride, don'tcha know!)  
>>> Heh heh. Sorry. Enjoy the Ramones shirt, you big girly blouse.
>>>
>>> ** Mike Coles & His Lovely Family ** -- Another big round of cheers 
>>> to Mike and his wonderful (and patient) wife, Lyrico and their 
>>> incomparably beautiful children (luckily for Mike, like my own 
>>> daughter, they take after the Mother). Not only did the Coles's add 
>>> a dash of clout, but their honed-from-parenting good natures 
>>> compelled them to look after me when I decided to happily part with 
>>> all semblance of coherent reason (via many pints of Grolsch) and 
>>> beer-handling coordination. Mike was also nice enough to invite Andy 
>>> Misera and myself out to the fabled Malicious Towers in Kilburn on 
>>> Saturday, treating us to a rare glimpse inside the proverbial MD 
>>> vault. And I now know why it's called "the Skylight Zone". He also 
>>> treated Andy & myself to several selections from the forthcoming 
>>> CLOCK MACHINE compilation, and lemme just say, biases aside, THIS 
>>> DISC ROCKS! There is some *TRULY* inspired music thereupon, and if 
>>> some of those tracks aren't ripe for becoming genuine, 
>>> radio-friendly hits, than I've got dog semen in my ears.
>>>
>>> ** Andy Misera ** -- Our beloved List-Meister was good enough to 
>>> guide me around London on Saturday, visiting not only the Coles' 
>>> place, but several shopping locales and more coffee bars, comic 
>>> shops, posh boutiques, chip shops and pubs than you can shake a a 
>>> pointy stick at.
>>>
>>> ** Graham/Woody2Shooz**  -- The ageless Graham was a gent enough to 
>>> supply with tickets for both nights and refused to accept any 
>>> semblance of payment (did I ever get you anything CLOSE to your 
>>> weight in lager?)
>>>
>>> ** Stephane the Frenchman** --  Quite unsolicitedly bestowed on me 
>>> some richly undeserved goodies like a signed (by all four) poster of 
>>> the gigs. We may like shouting "BASTARD" at you, Frenchman, but 
>>> you're a hecka-swell gent.
>>>
>>> ** Bob Barathy ** -- For being a smashing gent for looking after the 
>>> poster alluded to just above (which he will hopefully send to me at 
>>> some point and not use it to wrap rancid fish with, though I'm sure 
>>> Mike Coles could live with that).
>>>
>>> ** Nichola Wood & Wilfull Dave** -- Neither of whom are on the list, 
>>> but who very nicely rescued me from wandering off into the desolate, 
>>> pitch black of the Shepherd Bush night, bundling me into cab where I 
>>> was forced to discuss the merits of Las Vegas with an 
>>> overly-enthusiastic cab driver.
>>>
>>> ** Jel ** -- For serving as both a massively good dude, a big 
>>> fuckoff giant who probably scared off loads of Yankaphobes who'd 
>>> have gladly pounded my head in, and as an excellent step-ladder to 
>>> up above the fray of the "knitting circle".
>>>
>>> Beyond that, what can I say? I met so many nice folks like Rob, Dave 
>>> (I met about eight Daves, so let that one citation serve them all), 
>>> Idolatry, Marnyk from Brussels, Brian, Jel's big pal Cliff, Jon 
>>> Chapman, Mark Saxton (who was always in the men's 
>>> room....worryingly), Mel, THE INFAMOUS PETER WEST (who's actually an 
>>> unfailingly nice, smiley guy), Rob Martin, iPat, Horbag, Lisa 
>>> Gannon, Leigh & his friend Jane, Marc Phillips and Sarah (who I 
>>> never found again after the Goldhawk), Christophe (again), Dirk 
>>> (again), Antoni (again), the hilarious Neil Perry, Tom the Canadian 
>>> (not on the list?), PAUL (DUB) from Dublin, Jamie, Mick Head, MIK 
>>> RAVEN (again), Jane & Ian, Juliet Pleming,...
>>>
>>> ...I'm sure I'm forgetting someone, so HUGE APOLOGIES if so. In case 
>>> you didn't notice, I was a bit on the inebriated side quite a lot of 
>>> the time.
>>>
>>> Anyway, herewith the pics. Do enjoy:
>>>
>>> THURSDAY:
>>> http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/2005/PhotoAlbum119.html
>>>
>>> FRIDAY:
>>> http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/2005/PhotoAlbum120.html
>>>
>>> Cheers again,
>>>
>>> Alex in NYC....happy to be home.
>>>
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