[kj] ot - favorite words

[fluwdot at earthlink.net]

Once again, The Washington Post published its yearly contest in 
which
readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various 
words. 
And the winners are... 
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have  
gained. 
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 
1. 5.Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 
5. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you 
absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown. 
6. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 
7. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. 
8. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after 
you are run
over by a steamroller 
9. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 
10. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 
11. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a 
proctologist
immediately before he examines you. 
12. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with 
Yiddish
expressions. 
13. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist. 
14. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul 
goes up
on the roof and gets stuck there. 
15. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.