[kj] (ot) Bush Resume (long)

[Phillipps Marc]

> Resume for George W. Bush The White House, USA 
> 
> Past Work Experience:
> 
> I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I produced a Hollywood slasher B
> movie. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; the
> company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the
> Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using
> taxpayer money. With my father's help and name, I was elected Governor
> of Texas.
> 
> Accomplishments as Governor:
> 
> I changed pollution laws in favor of the power and oil companies and
> made Texas the most polluted state in the Union. I replaced Los Angeles
> with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and
> bankrupted Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
> I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American
> history. I became U.S. President after losing the popular vote by over
> 500,000 votes with the help of major Enron money and my father's
> appointments to the Supreme Court.
> 
> Accomplishments as President:
> 
> I attacked and overtook two countries. I set the all-time record for
> most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the
> entire month of August, I then presided over the worst security failure
> in U.S. history. I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips
> by a U.S. president. I have spent more money on polls and focus groups
> than any president in U.S. history. I set the record for least amount
> of press conferences than any president since the advent of
> television.  I've made my presidency the most secretive and
> unaccountable of any in U.S. history. I removed more freedoms and civil
> liberties for Americans than any president in U.S. history. I signed
> more laws and executive orders effectively amending or ignoring the
> Constitution than any president in history. I presided over the biggest
> energy crisis in U.S.  history and refused to intervene when corruption
> involving the oil industry was revealed. I presided over the highest
> gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use national reserves as
> past presidents have done. I've dissolved more international treaties
> than any president in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy for
> the U.S.  after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year
> later made the U.S. the most resented country in the world, possibly
> the largest failure of diplomacy in World history. I am the first
> president in U.S.  history to order a preemptive attack and the
> military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the
> will of the United Nations and the world community. I am the first
> president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S.
> from the Human Rights Commission. I am the first president in U.S.
> history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Elections
> Monitoring Board. I rendered the entire United Nations viewpoints
> irrelevant. I withdrew the U.S.  from the World Court of Law. I refused
> to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" (detainees) and
> thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first
> president in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors
> (during the 2002 U.S. election). I am the first president in history to
> have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest
> threat to world peace and security. I am the first U.S. president in
> history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S.
> than by their immediate neighbor, North Korea. I am actively working on
> a policy of "disengagement" creating the most hostile of
> Israel-Palestine relations in at least 30 years. I'm proud that the
> members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S.
> history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil
> tanker named after her. I am the all-time U.S.  and world record-holder
> for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest
> lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, (Kenneth
> Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation) presided over the largest
> corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history. My political party used the
> Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with
> the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I am the first
> president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. I
> appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any president
> in U.S. history. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals
> to be awarded government contracts. I set an all-time record for the
> number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not
> selling their huge personal investments in corporations bidding for
> U.S. contracts. In a little over two years, I created the most divided
> country in decades, possibly the most divided since the Civil War. My
> record for environmental issues is the least of my concerns. I have set
> the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest
> me in public venues (15 million people) shattering the record for
> protest against any person in the history of humankind.
> 
> Records and References: 
> 
> I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine. My Texas
> driving record has been erased and is not available. I was AWOL from
> the National Guard. I refused to take a drug test or even answer any
> questions about drug use. All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas
> are now in my father's library, sealed, and unavailable for public
> view. All records of SEC investigations into insider trading or
> bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
> view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my
> Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in
> secrecy and unavailable for public review.
> 
> Please consider my experience when voting in 2004. 
> 
> ...Send this to every voter you know (or better yet, any active
> participant in the human race).
> 
> 
> Steve
> 
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