[kj] a piece of shit hits the fan

[pr 001]

[WARNING: long alex-style post!]

so the knaves mix is a piece of shit is it scot?

how happy that must make you. yet another guilt-edged opportunity to make 
your hilarious KJ/SPINAL TAP comparison. mr the-glass-is-half-empty 
inglorious technicolor. you just love moaning about KJ's output don't you? 
when i lived in australia the phrase "whinging pom" would often be heard, 
but you seem to have turned that stereotype on its head! you joyfully 
slagged off NWOBFG didn't you? you probably didn't even bothered to seek out 
TUP? so convinced of its inevitable mediocrity. or maybe you did just so you 
could slag it off. nice of you to deem 'implant' OK, though.

the knaves mix - "bitterly disappointing" "after looking for years and years 
for this track". looking for years and years?!?!?! perhaps you could give us 
details of your exhaustive search for this track? how many copies of the 12" 
did you buy before giving up? how many calls to dealers asking them if it's 
yet another misspress? how many attempts to contact the record label? how 
many posts on the internet? did you ask raven about it? you make it sound 
like it was you that found it. and furthermore, you seem to think KJ somehow 
owe you a lifetime's suply of awesome music. well they don't. we're lucky to 
have them, and i very much doubt they give a flying fuck what you think.

yes, they are just like SPINAL TAP aren't they. SPINAL TAP were one of the 
most influential and respected bands to come out of the aftermath of punk 
weren't they? their guitarist is so like geordie as to be indistinguishable. 
i could go on but i can't be bothered.

scot, THERE'S A REASON THE Ks&Qs REMIX SOUNDS AMATEURISH - IT'S BECAUSE IT 
IS!

I DID IT.

i did it on 'cool edit' - took me two nights, about six or seven hours work 
total. i did it for a prank. and i can prove it. the classical bit at the 
start is from "Carnival of the Animals" by Camille Saint-Seans and the very 
first sample, the thunder followed by birds chirping is from PACIFICA which 
didn't come out until years later.

i'd like to hear you do something better. i'm no alex paterson but i did 
manage to fool the entire collected assembly of the most devoted KILLING 
JOKE fans on the planet. not one person questioned its authenticity.

bet you're all feeling pretty silly now, eh?! i admire scot for at least 
picking up on the fact that the remix sucked in certain respsects, but it's 
interesting that instead of jumping to the correct conclusion (and let's 
face it i've done enough pranks in the past, including other fake tracks, 
and i also recently mentioned that i use 'cool edi't a lot, and surely it's 
suspicious that nobody owned up to posting it or for that matter seting up 
the yahoo! group  - that was me too as ade can confirm) he just assumed KJ 
were that bad and gleefully stuck the knife in! the joke's on you my friend!

i will explain a bit more about the yahoo group.

most of you know i have my "issues". mainly with anger and a rather childish 
uncontrolable mind. it must surely be obvious that i have problems with 
certain people on this list and for good reason. well, bev suggested that i 
set up an alternative gathering because she knows how easy it is for people 
to get to me (although she conveniently overlooked the fact that it was her 
that gave them so much ammo against me!) and then just invite the people i 
like onto that list. so when andy said he was switching servers and someone 
suggested yahoo i took my chance and posted the invite kinda pretending to 
be andy without actually using his name which was a bit naughty i admit but 
it worked! the idea was to then kick off the people i didn't like and bingo 
i got my own list!

unfortunately temptation got the better of me and i uploaded the "knaves" 
mix. i have enjoyed the responses to that! also, i'm in two minds about the 
whole thing. i do love this list and let's face it it is where the action is 
at. so i think what i'm going to do is stay on this list and keep the yahoo 
group running so it's there if i can't stand the heat and need to get out of 
the kitchen in the future. i do also like the polls and fileshare too and 
i'd like it to be a complement to andy's list, not competition - i do want 
to stress that.

sorry i set the photo upload settings to moderator only. i'll go change that 
now. don't know why i did that.

i do hope people will use the group responsibly, if not i'll have to make 
the setting more strict.

i know there will be some people who, upon finding out that i set up the 
group, will want to leave and that fine no hard feelings at all. it's really 
only a couple of people here who i have major problems with and it should be 
fairly obvious who they are.

one final point, i do miss running my site. ade has kindly offered me a 
shitload of webspace so i think i'm gonna start doing something on the web 
again and it'll be cool to have the yahoo group as a tie-in with that. don't 
worry i'm not try to steal anyone's thunder i won't be competing with the 
other webmasters all of whom i consider good friends and fucking heros. i 
just need a hobby! perhaps we could even combine our forces? i've already 
helped ana and joe with their sites.

so there you go. congratulations for getting through this post. feel free to 
make suggestions as to how best to use the yahoo group, or tell me to stick 
it up my arse if that's the way you feel! sorry about the "knaves" mix but 
you've got to admit i pulled it off and it's bloody funny!!! i almost didn't 
say anything in the hope that jerry would put it on carlton's next comp but 
i really needed to explain about the yahoo group and people would have 
probably figured it out anyway by then.

btw, originally i had intended that after revealing it was a prank i'd like 
the new mix to be know as the 'mad buttler rock mix' after paul burrell but 
i've changed my mind and now i'd like it to be known as 'kings & queens [the 
scot lambeth suck my cock mix]'.

pr001

>From: scott.lambeth@hic.gov.au
>
>Yeah, great to see the long awaited Knaves Mix finally break the surface
>and fall into our eager hands.  Thanks to whoever found it and made it
>available.
>
>Pity that it's a piece of shit.  It's an extrodinarily amateurish remix
>that's purely for the completists.  It's disjointed and poorly produced
>and, after looking for years and years for this track, ultimately bitterly
>disappointing.
>
>In fact, things on the Killing Joke front aren't looking all that
>promising:  two cheesy band photos from the forthcoming album, a totally
>flaccid album cover so completely removed from "traditional" Joke imagery
>as to be laughable, and the lamentable Loose Cannon release as a single
>which will not do the band too many favours.  Implant is pretty good -
>there's some trademark Jaz Coleman anti-authority rage which, I hope, is
>more indicative of the album to come.  Let's hope Killing Joke aren't the
>new Spinal Tap.
>
>-S

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