[kj] (OT) Don't-let-The-Gathering-die! Emergency Poll

[Phil Tofield]

Ooh a poll, not been one of those on here for a few years, so I'll play...


> 1. Have you ever seen a ghost?

Seen one, no. Been told to fuck off by one, yes.
A few years ago me and a mate were out for a Saturday afternoon bike ride
and in the middle of nowhere we found this long abandoned farm. The
farmhouse was a ruin, with no roof, a rotted and dangerous staircase inside
and was becoming overrun with vegetation. It seemed like a good idea to
throw stones up at the chimney pot, first of all just trying to hit it,
then as the stones got bigger, to try to break it. Suddenly this voice
seemed to come from the house itself. It was loud, booming, and it told us
in no uncertain terms to go away. One look at my mates face confirmed that
I hadn't imagined it. So we left, very fucking quickly. I don't believe in
any kind of supernatural nonsense, but that didn't stop me shitting myself
and peddling away from there as if the very devil himself was after me.

2. Have you ever seen a Bigfoot?

every time I take a sock off

3. What is your favourite cheese?

Gruyere


> 4. Who is your favourite historical character?
>
Tycho Brahe


> 5. What is love anyway?
> Subsidiary question: Does anybody love anybody anyway?
>
pass


> 6. Would you rather be a cow or a badger?
>
Most of the cows I've ever seen have been alive. Most of the badgers I've
ever seen have been dead. So cow.


> 7. Have you ever tried to communicate
> with the dead?
>
nope


> 8. If you had to marry a Muppet – if you had to –
> which Muppet would you marry?
>
Animal. We'd make a good rhythm section.


> 9. Have you ever had a near death experience?
>
no


> 10. If you got on Dragon’s Den, what product
> would you pitch?
>
GPS for cats


> 11. What’s the worst experience you’ve ever had
> in a hotel?
>
Walked into my room to find an old man sitting on my bed rifling through my
suitcase.

12. Which celebrity would you like to stroke your
> hair as you die?
>
Olympia Valance. And not my hair.


> 13. What is your most mundane encounter with a
> celebrity?
>
Met Jean-Jacques Burnel once. As I shook his hand the only thing I could
think of to say was "er....great bass sound, mate"


> 14. Does sex with a robot count as cheating
> on your partner?
>
I fucking hope not.


> 15. What song would you like to replace your
> national anthem?
>
Rabbit by Chas & Dave


> 16. If you could jump into a pool of something,
> what would it be?
>
money


> 17. If you could communicate with one animal,
> which animal would you communicate with
> and what would you ask them?
>
 Id ask Animal from the muppets to marry me


> 18. How did the murder of Thomas A Beckett
> affect Anglo-Papal relations in the 12th
> Century?
>
sorry to be a pedant, but his name was Thomas Becket, not Thomas A Beckett


> 19. Do you know the way to San Jose?
>
Nope.

20. Have things turned out like you expected
> them to?
>
Never do

BONUS QUESTION: How would you escape from a Nazi prisoner of
> war camp?
>
Id look quizzically over the shoulder of the Camp Commandant at something
in the distance, and when he turned to see what I was looking at, Id run
away.

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