[kj] The real reason they wont be touring the USA.

[fatpotanga]

*coughs* 'Kevin'...    :)

On 20 May 2011, at 13:45, Paul Wady wrote:


> A DARK BASEMENT COVERED WITH OCCULT POSTERS AND THE COMPLETE WORK OF ALEISTER CROWLEY, SOMEWHERE IN THE GREAT BARRIER REEF.  A MANIC FIGURE IS BUSY PACKING BOOKS, TALISMANS, GOATS HEADS ETC INTO A LARGE BAG. 

>  

> TABITHA COLEMAN APPEARS IN THE DOORWAY.

>  

> Tabitha:  Um…Dad?  Mum found these one-way tickets to Iceland on the coffee table?  You’re not doing it again, are you?

>  

> Jaz: AAAAAAAAAAH!  DAMMIT CHILD!  THIS IS IT!  THIS IS THE REAL THING!  LOOK!  (OFFERS AN IPAD TO HER)  here, touch the link.  Touch the link!  WORLD ENDS 2AM GMT ON SUNDAY!!!

>  

> Tabitha:  Um…Dad….

>  

> Jaz:  Pack your stuff quick, we may escape the rapture and apocalypse in that nice hotel we found in 1990!!  They accepted my booking!!  Paypal online!!

>  

> Tabitha:  Dad…the boys are here to see you?

>  

> Jaz..AH, THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE…THE SERVANTS OF AMEN-RA, THE DARK MESSENGERS..THE ASSASSINS OF THE GOLDEN DAWN HAVE COME TO ME AT LAST!

>  

> Geordie:  Cooee!  Jeremy?

>  

> Youth:  Yeah, Jaz man, its us?

>  

> Jaz:  (VISIBLY DISAPPOINTED)  Will you stop bloody calling me that.  Keith!

>  

> GEORDIE APPEARS:  Yeah okay…oh.  Hello Tabitha.

>  

> Tabitha (BLUSHES)  Oh.  Hello Uncle Keith.

>  

> Jaz (LOOKING FROM ONE TO THE OTHER)  how come you get to call him that?

>  

> Tabitha…oh…we’re different…aren’t we uncle Keith?

>  

> Geordie…We sure are…Tabbie..(WINKS)

>  

> Jaz (INCANDESCENT)  LOOK!  We have to pack…YOU HAVE TO PACK!

>  

> Tabitha. Oh Dad.  Can’t I stay here…with uncle Keith.

>  

> Jaz NO YOU BLOODY CANT!  GET UPSTAIRS AND SAY GOODBYE TO MTV ONLINE!!

>  

> Tabitha and Geordie exchange winks and smiles and waves.  Jaz’s eyes fly from one to the other.

>  

> Youth (HIGHLY AMUSED) Ahem…so then, Mr. Jaz.  America?

>  

> Jaz:  What about it?  The worlds ending.

>  

> Youth  We let a lot of good fans down? 

>  

> Geordie (WATCHING TABITHA ASCEND STAIRS) Yeah ‘Jaz’.  Poor Clifford Monk played hours of our stuff every night.  He nearly died of a cold one time. 

>  

> JAZ GLARES AT GEORDIE…

>  

> Youth …or the flu.  Or some weird American virus.  Let all those people down.

>  

> Geordie.  ..and Countessa, with her lovely red-hair?

>  

> Jaz…hmm…love that barnet of hers…still, all going to end now. 

>  

> GEORDIE AND YOUTH LOOK AT EACH OTHER. 

>  

> Youth Look, remember the last time?

>  

> Jaz….Hail to the gods of the underworld, the overworld, the gods wombling free…

>  

> Geordie  When Pisces was out of alignment with the Gaia spirit?  Over Hades?

>  

> Jaz…Mmmmm?

>  

> Youth  Well, we could advertise a few dates in Europe.

>  

> Geordie:  Warsaw?  You like Warsaw?  And Finland?  Helsinki?  That’s like Iceland…

>  

> Jaz  No its not. 

>  

> Youth…well kind of!  Of go on.  If this isn’t it, at least we will have something to do…before we all make another album…what fun….

>  

> Geordie  (SUDDENLY CURIOUSLY STILL)  Yeah.  What fun it always is.  Jaz.  Dear.

>  

> Jaz (LOOKING BETWEEN OLD COMPADRIOTS)  Well…best have a plan B?  Just in case….its all a plot between the Feds and the Illuminati to fool me.

>  

> YOUTH AND GEORDIE BECOME VISIBLY RELIEVED. 

>  

> Youth YEAH YEAH!!  They are at it again!  Trying to fool you.  You of all people who would see through it!  Youre not crazy enough to fall for that!!!

>  

> Geordie No fooling you mate.

>  

> Youth Yeah.  Hahah!

>  

> Geordie Ha ha ha…ha.

>  

> Jaz  Aha….Pity about America.  Still, never know, we may all be destroyed in a great storm by early Sunday morning, GMT. 

>  

> YOUTH AND GEORDIE STARE…

>  





-- 
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http://www.iamscuzzy.com

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