[kj] OT: Summer 2011

Brian Whitehead bawhitehead at gmail.com
Tue Aug 9 11:43:18 EDT 2011


Alex my deepest sympathies, I lost my father in January and it felt like the
world had ended.

"I will say this: Don't waste your time on grudges and bad blood."

In the aftermath of his death a lot of bad things happened between me and my
sister to the point that with emotions running sky high we had some MASSIVE
arguments. Things got very bad and it eventually lead to us not talking for
months. During this time I discovered that after my grandmother had died my
dad and his brother had some big arguments that lead to them not talking for
nearly 20 years, which explained why I never saw my cousin. My Dad had to be
persuaded to go to his brothers funeral when he'd died many years later.
History repeating itself. From that point I decided that I didn't want all
that in my life so I called my sister and told we should just put it behind
us and things are now back to a level of normality.

Brian.



On 9 August 2011 05:39, Alexander Smith <vassifer at earthlink.net> wrote:


>

> Hey there, Gatherers...

>

> Firstly, I want to say that I hope one and all my dear British friends on

> this list are out of harm's way this evening. I've only heard sporadic bits

> of news of what's going on, and it also sounds quite disturbing. Be safe

> everyone.

>

> Sorry to have been out of touch, but it's been a busy period of late. More

> to the point, my father passed away suddenly on Thursday, and it's been

> quite a surreal situation, to say the least. Suffice to say, my and my

> sister's relationship with the man was unconventional at best (he pretty

> much divorced my mother when I was born, and went on to marry five more

> times....that's right, five). There's a mountain of red tape facing my

> sister and I right now, and I don't think I've ever been as overwhelmed in

> my life.

>

> I will say this: Don't waste your time on grudges and bad blood. If you're

> currently in a feud with someone you care about, sort that shit out now

> before it's too late. It's a horrible cliche, but life is too fucking short

> to waste on stupid grudges.

>

> Mend fences with those you love. At the end of the day, nothing else

> matters, and trust me -- being left with unanswered questions, painful

> secrets and sentiments left unexpressed is a very heavy price to pay.

>

>

> be well, everyone.

>

> - Alex in NYC

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