[kj] Book? Why, perhaps a film could be made that dramatized the old days?

[jpwhkj at aol.com]

Ha!  Very good.  Some of it probably happened...





-----Original Message-----
From: Paul Wady <paulwady at hotmail.com>
To: Gatherers Killing Joke Gatherers <gathering at misera.net>
Sent: Tue, 13 Apr 2010 15:17
Subject: [kj] Book? Why, perhaps a film could be made that dramatized the old days?


Hmm.  How about actors playing the boys?  Recreations of famous KJ events?


Here is one scene they could do?




 
HOW WAS MATHEMATICS OF CHAOS RECORDED IN THE KINGS BURIAL CHAMBER, EGYPT?
 
 
THE SCENE: THE KINGS BURIAL CHAMBER OF THE GREAT PYRAMID IN EGYPT.
 
A LARGE RECTANGULAR CHAMBER, HUNG WITH BULKHEAD LIGHTS AND DECORATED WITH LOTS OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN DRAWINGS.  
 
A LINE OF FOUR LOCAL MEN APPEAR THROUGH THE DOORWAY, FROM A 45 DEGREE SLANTING TUNNEL.  THEY ARE ALL CARRYING FLIGHT CASES WITH KILLING JOKE WRITTEN ON THEM.
 
EVERYONE DROPS THEM IN THE MIDDLE AND HAS A GOOD LAUGH ABOUT HOW MUCH THE WESTERN MAD MEN HAVE PAID THEM TO TAKE A LOAD OF BOXES TO THIS DIRTY OLD PILE OF BRICKS.  THEN THEY ALL LOOK ROUND AT THE WEIRD NOISES FROM THE ENTRANCE TUNNEL.
 
A STRANGE, MANIC FIGURE FLIES THROUGH THE DOORWAY AND HITS THE DUST OF THE FLOOR, STILL RAVING.  
 


JAZ:  HAIL TO KEPATRA!  OTO!  CROWLEY IN GLORIA EXCELSIOR!  I EVOKE THE GLORY OF ALL ENTITIES!  SUFFERING AND PAIN CRYSTALLISED IN A BRAIN THAT RECREATES THE PROCESS AGAIN…(THIS GOES ON FOR A WHILE.)
 


THE LOCALS STAND OVER HIM, SILENT.  JAZ FINALLY SHUTS UP AND STANDS UP AND DUSTS HIMSELF OFF.  
 


Jaz:  Hmm.  (FALLS INTO A TRANCE LIKE STATE OF WONDER AT WHERE HE IS, EXTENDS HIS ARMS TO CATCH THE VIBES, LOOKS UP ETC.  THE LOCALS MOVE TO STAND IN A CORNER, WONDERING WHAT NEXT.)
 


ANOTHER THUNDERING NOISE FROM THE TUNNEL AS ANOTHER WESTERNER FALLS DOWN IT.  A LARGE GUITAR FLIGHT CASE HITS THE DIRT, FOLLOWED BY A TALL BLONDE MAN.
 


Geordie:  My Gibson ES-295  MY FUCKING GIBSON ES-295!!!  (BRUSHES DUST OFF IT, OPENS CASE, POURS OVER GIBSON ES-295 LIKE IT WAS A BABY.)
 
Jaz:  (TO HIMSELF) Only a bloody Gibson ES-295…
 


ALL THE LOCAL MEN IN THE CORNER START GIGGLING.
 


Geordie:  OY!  (CLEARLY HURT.)  A fucking state of eternal conflict is all that I have found with you, you camouflaged faced nutter.  
 
Jaz:  Hmm, interesting phrase…Sorry sorry.  Look where we are man!  We made it!  Here we can record in the most magically powerful environment you could imagine!  Here, at the epicentre of the Great Pyramid, at an auspicious hour, after a hugely power evoking ritual!!!
 
Geordie:  Oh bloody hell, not another few days chanting and dancing around.  Can’t we just jam and play stuff like normal bands?  
 
JAZ EXTENDS HIS HANDS IN A PROFOUND GESTURE TOWARD GEORDIE
 
Jaz:  All of our work is ritual…we tap into higher powers…channel the energies of the universe…the great and good…against the forces of darkness…and despair!
 
Geordie:  (To himself)  ..Murder Inc just get stoned and have a laugh…  Ah well, turbulence is a bloody certainty with you.  CLOSES GIBSON ES-295 CASE THEN GRABS IT AND GETS IT OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE A COLLECTION OF ROUND FLIGHT CASES HIT THE SAME SPOT.  A VERY TALL PERSON FOLLOWS THEM.  MORE GIGGLES FROM THE LOCALS.  
 
Youth:  Fuck!  My skins!  
 
Geordie:  Don’t worry mate, I rolled one in the Land Rover.
 
Youth:  No!  The drum skins!  (STARTS OPENING HIS FLIGHT CASES)
 
Jaz: We build a wall that is made of tears…BEFORE THE COMING APOCALYPSE!
 
Youth:  Not again.  Jesus Jaz…(STILL RUMMAGING)  Well fucking helpful you are, middle of the desert in this dirty tomb thing, raving away.  No snakes around here are there?
 
Geordie:  No cats either mate, so you should be safe from Jaz (sniggers)
 
Youth (SUDDENLY ALARMED, RESPONDING IN AN AGGRESSIVE WHISPER) DON’T FUCKIN’ REMIND HIM!  Off you both go to bloody Iceland to escape the end of the world and Tiddles dies on me!  What difference did it make anyway, you said the planet was going to explode!  He didn’t work with me for years after that.  You know how sensitive he is!  I nearly sold my entire vinyl collection to fund a goodbye cruel world party!
 
Geordie:  Meow!  Meow meow!
 
Youth:  Very funny…(RETURNS TO BELOVED DRUM KIT CASES, STIFLING A SNIGGER HIMSELF.)
 
Geordie:  I swear that squat in Ladbroke Grove looked worse than this.  Which reminds me.
 
Jaz:  HAIL ALL FORCES OF MAGIC…AND POWER…AND OF ALL GODS…AND ENTITIES…I SMELL THE MYSTICAL SCENT..SECRETED BY THE MOST POWERFUL AND TRANSCENDENTAL OF ALL THE HEAVENLY AND SUPERNATURAL CREATURES…oh.  (NOTICES GEORDIE HAS LIT UP A LARGE REEFER.)
 
Geordie:  Heh heh.  (HANDS IT OVER TO JAZ.)  That shut him up.  
 
Jaz (INHALING) Here we are at last….my dream realized…finally.  
 
Youth:  Er…Jaz?  Where are we plugging the gear in?  
 
Jaz!  Hah!  What, the Pharoah’s were buried with a ring mains?  Oh yeah…er.  Oh.
 
(TO LOCALS) ‘Ere, Achmed?
 
ALL OF THEM GESTURE.
 
Geordie:  What, are they all called Achmed?
 
Jaz:  Blessed are the meet it is written they shall inherit the earth, and all our cash too the crafty buggers.  You wouldn’t happen to have a generator around here would you?  Could we plug into the light fittings?
 
THE LOCALS WHISPER AMONGST THEMSELVES THEN START GESTURING AND SHOUTING WILDLY AT JAZ.
 
Jaz:  Oh well bugger you all too.  Cheeky bastards.
 
Geordie:  Hang on, I think they are trying to tell us…er, Jaz…there is this big snake on the floor.
 
Jaz:  Yeah yeah, very funny…’Keith’. 
 
Geordie:  Please don’t call me that…still a big snake next to you.
 
Jaz:  Yeah yeah…oh Fuck.  
 


A LONG BLACK CREATURE IS RAISING IT’S HEAD AT HIS FEET.  
 


Jaz: TRANSFIXED..the more you open your eyes the more you despise…
 
Geordie:  (EDGING AROUND THE THING)  Trust him to get good lyrics at a time like this.  
 
Youth:  (HIGHLY AMUSED)  TIDDLES REICARNATED!  It will bite you in the Asp…everyone sells more when they are dead you know Jaz?  Here Geordie, try playing a riff - Snake charming?  
 
Geordie:  YOUTH!  Not fucking now!..(YELLS)  THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE!  (HE HITS THE SERPENT WITH HIS GIBSON ES-295.)  
 
Jaz:….Keith…Geordie….your Gibson ES-295!  You saved my life…with your Gibson ES-295…you…risked damaging your Gibson ES-295…for me!
 
Geordie:  Bloody soundbox!  The varnish…oh Jaz, Jaz!!
 


THEY EMBRACE AS BROTHERS.  GEORDIE TRIES TO INSPECT THE INSTRUMENTS BODY WITH JAZ’S ARMS AROUND HIM.
 


YOUTH:  If that had been Tiddles he’d have been strangling Geordie.  Hope it wasn’t an endangered species.  Ah well, another Killing Joke session, business as usual really.   Where’s me stool?
 
 
 
THUS WAS HISTORY MADE.  
 
 
 
 
 








From: gasw30 at hotmail.com
To: gathering at misera.net
Date: Tue, 13 Apr 2010 09:05:38 +0000
Subject: Re: [kj] Maliciuos Damage/early KJ blogpost

Thanks Alex. 


Very interesting to hear that Raven auditioned early on. Jeezus, I really hope Jaz publishes his book because I'd like to know more about the early days.




Date: Mon, 12 Apr 2010 15:00:29 -0400
From: vassifer at earthlink.net
To: gathering at misera.net; gathering at misera.net
Subject: [kj] Maliciuos Damage/early KJ blogpost

Perhaps this is old news, but check this out (rife with many an early period photo):

http://www.killyourpetpuppy.co.uk/news/?p=4109

Enjoy.

Alex in NYC


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