[kj] Book? Why, perhaps a film could be made that dramatized the old days?

[Paul Wady]

Hmm.  How about actors playing the boys?  Recreations of famous KJ events?
Here is one scene they could do?



 

HOW WAS MATHEMATICS OF CHAOS RECORDED
IN THE KINGS BURIAL CHAMBER, EGYPT?

 

 

THE SCENE: THE KINGS BURIAL CHAMBER OF THE GREAT PYRAMID IN
EGYPT.

 

A LARGE RECTANGULAR CHAMBER, HUNG WITH BULKHEAD LIGHTS AND
DECORATED WITH LOTS OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN DRAWINGS.  

 

A LINE OF FOUR LOCAL MEN APPEAR THROUGH THE DOORWAY, FROM A
45 DEGREE SLANTING TUNNEL.  THEY
ARE ALL CARRYING FLIGHT CASES WITH KILLING JOKE WRITTEN ON THEM.

 

EVERYONE DROPS THEM IN THE MIDDLE AND HAS A GOOD LAUGH ABOUT
HOW MUCH THE WESTERN MAD MEN HAVE PAID THEM TO TAKE A LOAD OF BOXES TO THIS
DIRTY OLD PILE OF BRICKS.  THEN
THEY ALL LOOK ROUND AT THE WEIRD NOISES FROM THE ENTRANCE TUNNEL.

 

A STRANGE, MANIC FIGURE FLIES THROUGH THE DOORWAY AND HITS
THE DUST OF THE FLOOR, STILL RAVING. 


 


JAZ:  HAIL TO
KEPATRA!  OTO!  CROWLEY IN GLORIA EXCELSIOR!  I EVOKE THE GLORY OF ALL ENTITIES!  SUFFERING AND PAIN CRYSTALLISED IN A
BRAIN THAT RECREATES THE PROCESS AGAIN…(THIS GOES ON FOR A WHILE.)

 


THE LOCALS STAND OVER HIM, SILENT.  JAZ FINALLY SHUTS UP AND STANDS UP AND DUSTS HIMSELF
OFF.  

 


Jaz:  Hmm.  (FALLS INTO A TRANCE LIKE STATE OF
WONDER AT WHERE HE IS, EXTENDS HIS ARMS TO CATCH THE VIBES, LOOKS UP ETC.  THE LOCALS MOVE TO STAND IN A CORNER,
WONDERING WHAT NEXT.)

 


ANOTHER THUNDERING NOISE FROM THE TUNNEL AS ANOTHER
WESTERNER FALLS DOWN IT.  A LARGE GUITAR FLIGHT CASE HITS THE DIRT, FOLLOWED BY A TALL BLONDE MAN.

 


Geordie:  My Gibson
ES-295  MY FUCKING GIBSON ES-295!!!  (BRUSHES DUST OFF IT, OPENS CASE, POURS
OVER GIBSON ES-295 LIKE IT WAS A BABY.)

 

Jaz:  (TO
HIMSELF) Only a bloody Gibson ES-295…

 


ALL THE LOCAL MEN IN THE CORNER START GIGGLING.

 


Geordie:  OY!  (CLEARLY HURT.)  A fucking state of eternal conflict is
all that I have found with you, you camouflaged faced nutter.  

 

Jaz:  Hmm,
interesting phrase…Sorry sorry. 
Look where we are man!  We
made it!  Here we can record in the
most magically powerful environment you could imagine!  Here, at the epicentre of the Great
Pyramid, at an auspicious hour, after a hugely power evoking ritual!!!

 

Geordie:  Oh
bloody hell, not another few days chanting and dancing around.  Can’t we just jam and play stuff like
normal bands?  

 

JAZ EXTENDS HIS HANDS IN A PROFOUND GESTURE TOWARD GEORDIE

 

Jaz:  All of our
work is ritual…we tap into higher powers…channel the energies of the
universe…the great and good…against the forces of darkness…and despair!

 

Geordie:  (To
himself)  ..Murder Inc just get
stoned and have a laugh…  Ah well,
turbulence is a bloody certainty with you.  CLOSES GIBSON ES-295 CASE THEN GRABS IT AND GETS IT OUT OF
THE WAY BEFORE A COLLECTION OF ROUND FLIGHT CASES HIT THE SAME SPOT.  A VERY TALL PERSON FOLLOWS THEM.  MORE GIGGLES FROM THE LOCALS.  

 

Youth:  Fuck!  My skins!  

 

Geordie:  Don’t
worry mate, I rolled one in the Land Rover.

 

Youth:  No!  The drum skins!  (STARTS OPENING HIS FLIGHT CASES)

 

Jaz: We build a wall that is made of tears…BEFORE THE COMING
APOCALYPSE!

 

Youth:  Not
again.  Jesus Jaz…(STILL
RUMMAGING)  Well fucking helpful
you are, middle of the desert in this dirty tomb thing, raving away.  No snakes around here are there?

 

Geordie:  No
cats either mate, so you should be safe from Jaz (sniggers)

 

Youth (SUDDENLY ALARMED, RESPONDING IN AN AGGRESSIVE
WHISPER) DON’T FUCKIN’ REMIND HIM! 
Off you both go to bloody Iceland to escape the end of the world and
Tiddles dies on me!  What
difference did it make anyway, you said the planet was going to explode!  He didn’t work with me for years after
that.  You know how sensitive he
is!  I nearly sold my entire vinyl
collection to fund a goodbye cruel world party!

 

Geordie:  Meow!  Meow meow!

 

Youth:  Very
funny…(RETURNS TO BELOVED DRUM KIT CASES, STIFLING A SNIGGER HIMSELF.)

 

Geordie:  I
swear that squat in Ladbroke Grove looked worse than this.  Which reminds me.

 

Jaz:  HAIL ALL
FORCES OF MAGIC…AND POWER…AND OF ALL GODS…AND ENTITIES…I SMELL THE MYSTICAL
SCENT..SECRETED BY THE MOST POWERFUL AND TRANSCENDENTAL OF ALL THE HEAVENLY AND
SUPERNATURAL CREATURES…oh. 
(NOTICES GEORDIE HAS LIT UP A LARGE REEFER.)

 

Geordie:  Heh
heh.  (HANDS IT OVER TO JAZ.)  That shut him up.  

 

Jaz (INHALING) Here we are at last….my dream
realized…finally.  

 

Youth: 
Er…Jaz?  Where are we
plugging the gear in?  

 

Jaz!  Hah!  What, the Pharoah’s were buried with a
ring mains?  Oh yeah…er.  Oh.

 

(TO LOCALS) ‘Ere, Achmed?

 

ALL OF THEM GESTURE.

 

Geordie:  What,
are they all called Achmed?

 

Jaz:  Blessed
are the meet it is written they shall inherit the earth, and all our cash too
the crafty buggers.  You wouldn’t
happen to have a generator around here would you?  Could we plug into the light fittings?

 

THE LOCALS WHISPER AMONGST THEMSELVES THEN START GESTURING
AND SHOUTING WILDLY AT JAZ.

 

Jaz:  Oh well
bugger you all too.  Cheeky
bastards.

 

Geordie:  Hang
on, I think they are trying to tell us…er, Jaz…there is this big snake on the
floor.

 

Jaz:  Yeah yeah,
very funny…’Keith’. 

 

Geordie:  Please
don’t call me that…still a big snake next to you.

 

Jaz:  Yeah
yeah…oh Fuck.  

 


A LONG BLACK CREATURE IS RAISING IT’S HEAD AT HIS FEET.  

 


Jaz: TRANSFIXED..the more you open your eyes the more you
despise…

 

Geordie:  (EDGING
AROUND THE THING)  Trust him to get
good lyrics at a time like this.  

 

Youth:  (HIGHLY
AMUSED)  TIDDLES REICARNATED!  It will bite you in the Asp…everyone
sells more when they are dead you know Jaz?  Here Geordie, try playing a riff - Snake charming?  

 

Geordie:  YOUTH!  Not fucking now!..(YELLS)  THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE!  (HE HITS THE SERPENT WITH HIS GIBSON
ES-295.)  

 

Jaz:….Keith…Geordie….your Gibson ES-295!  You saved my life…with your Gibson
ES-295…you…risked damaging your Gibson ES-295…for me!

 

Geordie:  Bloody
soundbox!  The varnish…oh Jaz,
Jaz!!

 


THEY EMBRACE AS BROTHERS.  GEORDIE TRIES TO INSPECT THE INSTRUMENTS BODY WITH JAZ’S
ARMS AROUND HIM.

 


YOUTH:  If that
had been Tiddles he’d have been strangling Geordie.  Hope it wasn’t an endangered species.  Ah well, another Killing Joke session,
business as usual really.   Where’s me stool?

 

 

 

THUS WAS HISTORY MADE. 


 

 

 

 

 










From: gasw30 at hotmail.com
To: gathering at misera.net
Date: Tue, 13 Apr 2010 09:05:38 +0000
Subject: Re: [kj] Maliciuos Damage/early KJ blogpost








Thanks Alex. Very interesting to hear that Raven auditioned early on. Jeezus, I really hope Jaz publishes his book because I'd like to know more about the early days.

Date: Mon, 12 Apr 2010 15:00:29 -0400
From: vassifer at earthlink.net
To: gathering at misera.net; gathering at misera.net
Subject: [kj]  Maliciuos Damage/early KJ blogpost



Perhaps this is old news, but check this out (rife with many an early period photo):

http://www.killyourpetpuppy.co.uk/news/?p=4109

Enjoy.

Alex in NYC
 		 	   		  
Get a new e-mail account with Hotmail - Free. Sign-up now. 		 	   		  
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