[kj] (OT) Cardiacs news:

[Phillipps Marc]

I know there are a few Cardiacs fans out there that may've not seen the
latest missive from ABC:

 

A full year has now passed by silently and stealthily yet with ever an
eye on promptitude and a passion for consistency it now falls upon THE
ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN to provide this timely annual update to YOU
our ever faithful family regarding the health and condition of Tim
Smith.

 

One complete year on from Tim Smith's 'accident', THE ALPHABET BUSINESS
CONCERN is only too aware that since its previous gloomy news bulletin
there have purposely been no further updates. In this time YOU have been
both patient and respectful to the family of YOUR IDOL and to those so
called friends with whom he keeps regular counsel. If rumour and
tittle-tattle have reached the collective ear of THE ALPHABET BUSINESS
CONCERN then we have seen fit neither to extinguish nor fan their ugly
flames.

 

It is at this time, then, that THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN has chosen
to clarify the CURRENT situation At the time of his cardiac arrest Tim
Smith effectively died.  

Resuscitation allowed his passage back from that world of mists and
spirits to this one of foetid edges and filth, but upon re-entering this
VALE OF TEARS it became apparent that he had suffered a terrible brain
injury from the inability of his faltered heart to supply its regular
goodness in the quantities required to sustain a healthy condition
within his brainbox.

 

Quite what the sickly lad experienced over the course of the remaining
months of 2008 remains largely unclear. He claims at one point to have
been surrounded by 'cheap microphones' while at other times that he was
visited by 'multiple cigarette smoking' friends whilst languishing in a
'cafe that served exquisite fruit juice' all set within a 'beautiful
surreal landscape of rivers and curtains'.

In keeping with our reputation as The HONEST Concern, THE ALPHABET
BUSINESS CONCERN can state categorically that none of these constructs
was of our making.

 

Since the accident Tim Smith's body has become his enemy. He is in a
great deal of pain and is experiencing difficulty with the finer points
of control with regard to his extremities so obviously perfected prior
to the unhappy event, but Tim Smith, his family and those so called
friends, (with whom he keeps counsel), all assert that his mind,
however, has been sharpened by the episode. THE ALPHABET BUSINESS
CONCERN can confirm that no part of YOUR favourite pop star's intellect
or personality has been found to be absent WHATSOEVER.

 

So where does that leave CARDIACS and where does that leave YOU?

 

At this point Tim Smith can neither sing nor play his guitar. THE
ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN, in keeping with its enviable reputation as
THE REALISTIC CONCERN, can state that it is extremely unlikely that
CARDIACS will perform live for the foreseeable future. THIS IS NOT, IT
MUST BE NOTED, THE END OF CARDIACS. YOU must once again be patient
before events can reveal themselves as foodstuffs for YOUR greedy little
mouths.

 

Unlike the so-called prescient ways of that, at best, 'cosmic chancer'  

Nostradamus, THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN claim no 'second sight',
therefore it would be mere folly to muse upon how future events may
unfold. Tim Smith's condition permits no such speculation, but there is
in his own words 'A glimmer of anticipation . . . Quite a glimmer.'  

And it is to give that glimmer the oxygen that it requires to become the
roaring flame we all need to warm our clammy flesh, that he is
participating in the trials and tribulations required within the system
of neurological rehabilitation where he is making many small but
positive inroads into his recovery. We are therefore left in no doubt
that it is a long and arduous road beset with many trips and stumbles
along the way that has yet to be travelled.

 

In respect of the awful events of last year, much of the machinery
surrounding your favourite group, CARDIACS, had ground to a halt. In
honour of YOUR patience, YOU will observe the cogs begin to turn and the
pistons sputter to life once more. THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN will
soon make available to YOU the goods and artefacts YOU so hungrily
crave.

 

Tim Smith and it goes without saying, THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN,
would like to thank all of YOU who have sent him YOUR kind thoughts and
beautiful words and indeed in a few thankfully rare cases, your daubs
and photos. They have all been gratefully received where appropriate and
both Tim and ourselves would encourage you all to continue with your
correspondence.

 

With Respect
 
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