[kj] Tony Blair Is Dead

[Change]

>

>    S T I L L  W A R M

>

>

>   (A special edition from the makers of The Friday

Thing)

>

>

>    Tony Blair, Prime Minister

>

>   1997-2007

>

>----------------------------------------------------------

>

>TONY BLAIR

>=

>

>Prime Minister Anthony Charles Lynton Blair –

reformer,

>friend of Cliff Richard, champion of gays, warmonger,

liar,

>master of spin, guitarist, Christian, father of David

>Cameron - has died.

>

>He was 10.

>

>----------------------------------------------------------

>

>TONY BLAIR, PM: A TEXTIMONIAL

>=

>

>gudbI tOnE blr

>gn

>bt nt 4gvn

>

>------------------------------------------------------------

>

>POLITICS: THE PLACE OF LOW SKULLDUGGERY

>=

>

>'Some may belittle politics. But we know who are

engaged in

>it, that it is where people stand tall. Although I

know it

>has its many harsh contentions, it is still the arena

that

>sets the heart beating a little faster and if it is

on

>occasions the place of low skullduggery, it is more

often

>the place for the pursuit of noble causes, and I wish

>everyone, friend or foe, well and that is that. The

end.'

>

>- Tony Blair, Wednesday June 27, 2007

>

>....

>

>If a week is a long time in politics, which

apparently it

>is, then ten years must be absolutely ages. Going on

a

>decade in fact. But all things - even very long

things -

>must pass, and now that Tony Blair’s ten years as a

lead

>player on the world stage have crawled into the past

like a

>limping, disgraced clown, it’s time for the

biographers to

>brush off their biographite, and assess the years

that they

>are already calling The Blair Years.

>

>Sadly, all of the biographers are agreed that it

doesn't

>matter how hard you try and spin it, Blair's legacy

will

>forever hinge upon one thing and one thing only:

Iraq.

>Indeed, Iraq is to Tony Blair very much what those 13

>murdered women are to Peter Sutcliffe. For if it

hadn't been

>for his victims, Peter Sutcliffe would to this day

most

>probably be considered a thoroughly decent chap who

went

>about his business, kept himself to himself,

occasionally

>had a regrettable temper tantrum at Christmas but on

the

>whole was a pretty OK guy.

>

>But, sadly, facts is facts just as sure as eggs is

eggs, and

>once an egg is broken, there is no putting the facts

of a

>shattered shell back together, not even if the

resulting

>omelette tastes truly wicked and the whole world

wishes it

>had never been brought into existence. So just as

Sutcliffe

>will never be able to shake off his vicious,

psychopathic

>murderer tag – no matter how many old ladies he

helped

>across the street when he wasn't cracking innocent

skulls

>with his hammer – so Blair will never be washed clean

of his

>share of the blood of around 655,000 dead Iraqis – no

matter

>how tremendous were his other achievements. Also,

blaming

>God did little to alleviate the guilt of either men.

>

>But forget God. Let's take a moment – just how

tremendous

>*were* his other achievements?

>

>Well, there's the pacification of Northern Ireland of

>course. Then there's the Civil Partnership Act. Then,

well,

>there's some other stuff, we're sure of it. He was

very

>loyal to his friends of course, which is nice. That's

where

>him and Peter Sutcliffe definitely part company –

Tony

>*always* looked after those who managed to get close

to him.

>Peter Mandelson, for example. David Blunkett. John

Prescott.

>He wasn't too good at taking care of those who didn't

always

>agree with him however. David Kelly, for example.

Robin

>Cook. Mo Mowlam... Not that we're suggesting anything

>underhanded here. Oh, except the blood from all those

dead

>Iraqis of course. The cash for honours thing. And the

myriad

>lies he told from beginning to end to maintain for

himself

>and his family the lifestyle to which he very quickly

became

>accustomed.

>

>The shit.

>

>One thing we will say for him however: at least he

never

>used a hammer.

>

>

>-

>

>akillerpm at thefridaything.co.uk

>

>------------------------------------------------------------

>

>THE BLAIR YEARS IN ELEVEN WORDS

>=

>

>'Get up the arse of the White House and stay there.'

>

>- Blair's chief of staff, Jonathan Powell in 1997, to

>Ambassador to Washington Sir Christopher Meyer.

>

>------------------------------------------------------------

>

>BYE THEN, TONY

>=

>

>And so, Tony's reign of terror is at an end. Cherie,

gobbing

>off at the press as she went, was her graceless self

to the

>last. It's all been pretty anti-climactic - no matter

how

>breathless and deferential the television coverage -

which

>was probably the plan. Were you dancing a jig or

feeling

>strangely flat? Where were all the street parties?

Did

>things just get better or worse? Was the tap gushing

Iraqi

>blood miraculously turned off at lunchtime on

Wednesday?

>

>Be honest now. Examine the depths of the fathomless

pit that

>you call a soul, conscience or whatever. You know,

that part

>of yourself where you buried what you did with that

magazine

>you found in the woods or what you let that boy do to

you at

>that party when you were 14.

>

>Now, it might be that you're a Amnesty

>International-subscribing liberal, wet of knickers

and

>bleeding of heart. But wouldn't part of you love to

see Tony

>Blair's head on a spike outside the Tower of London?

His

>face contorted in a final agony that had even his

>executioners weeping and vomiting? There, don't you

feel

>better admitting it, if only to yourself? We know we

do.

>

>'But think of all the good he did,' say his vestigial

>supporters. The first 'good' to fall from their lips

is

>Blair's three general election victories. 'He was a

winner,'

>they protest. The thing is, the Labour Party isn't

like the

>Brazilian World Cup team - an election victory isn't

a

>trophy to put in the glass case until the next

tournament.

>To hear most of Blair's hagiographers speak, winning

has

>been the end in itself.

>

>Once you get past the three golden 'historic'

election

>victories, the rest of the trophies accrued over the

last

>ten years look small and brassy. What about economic

growth

>during every quarter of his premiership, cry the

faithful.

>Or the minimum wage? And tax credits? Especially when

>they're administered in such cack-handed, inhumane

ways –

>tales abound of people's lives being made harder not

easier.

>

>The thing is, who really cares about such things?

Who, now,

>says of Anthony Eden, 'Forget the Suez Crisis, what

about

>the interest rates in 1956? *That's* a legacy'? Or of

John

>Major, 'Say what you like about him knobbing Edwina,

he

>bowed to no one in his grasp of macro-economics'?

>

>Anyway. Blair won't be missed *nor* forgotten and a

tenner

>on him slopping out at the Hague before the end of

the

>decade seems a comforting, if not exactly lucrative,

wager

>to make. It's probably true to say that he

radicalised

>millions of people, just not in the way he would have

liked.

>It's because him we're up to our necks in blogs, for

>starters. The bastard.

>

>The only question left is, will there be so much spit

on his

>grave when he dies that it'll be an ice-rink in

winter? Or

>will the salt in all the urine deposited there

prevent the

>saliva from freezing?

>

>

>-

>

>missingyoualready at thefridaything.co.uk

>

>------------------------------------------------------------

>

>TONY BLAIR: THE VERY BEST AT BEING BAD

>=

>

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9_yv1m9jN8

>

>------------------------------------------------------------

>

>THE FUTURE: A MORE OPEN AND HONEST DIALOGUE

>=

>

>http://tinyurl.com/2aop3a

>

>------------------------------------------------------------

>

>THE BIG RESHUFFLE: WHO'S OUT, HOON'S IN

>=

>

>

>IN!

>

>Jack Straw - First MP to become Lord Chancellor, with

the

>position normally being held by a member of the House

of

>Lords who was a flatmate of the Prime Minister; and

who

>started shagging the Prime Minister's ex-girlfriend

at

>university immediately after they split up. Contrary

to some

>predictions, Straw will not become Deputy Prime

Minister as

>the position has now been abolished. Thanks to John

Prescott

>ruining it for everyone.

>

>Jacqui Smith - Can't be arsed to update her website.

As the

>first female Home Secretary, Smith is already

planning

>sweeping changes to the Justice System. Bless her.

>

>Geoff 'Buff' Hoon - New Labour Chief Whip. Has

already

>pledged British troops to remove John Pilger from

power.

>

>Alistair Darling - Chancellor. Oddly enough, we were

tipped

>off on Monday that this appointment had been

confirmed by a

>high-placed Whitehall mole. Same mole also told us

that

>there's a rumour bouncing around the cabinet office

that

>Brown had a brief but passionate sexual affair with

his

>predecessor. Strange but true.

>

>David Miliband - Twelve years old. Youngest Foreign

>Secretary in 30 years. And first to be paid in Habbo

Hotel

>coins.

>

>Ed Miliband - Secretary for the Cabinet Office.

Younger

>brother of David, making him officially a foetus.

According

>to TheyWorkForYou.com, has used three-word

alliterative

>phrases (e.g. "she sells seashells") 54 times in

debates.

>This is a meaningless statistic.

>

>Steve Miliband - Their latest album, Fly Like An

Eagle: 30th

>Anniversary Edition, was released in 2006.

>

>

>....

>

>OUT!

>

>John Prescott - True fact: when one TFT writer was 17

he was

>doing work experience at a trade union when a

>pre-Governmental Prescott came to visit. He arrived

wearing

>a velvet smoking jacket and slippers, a pork pie in

each

>hand.

>

>Patricia Hewitt - The former health minister - once

voted

>'MP most likely to be thrown out like a sack off shit

the

>moment Brown comes to power' – has quit to 'spend

more time

>with [her] family'. According to Phrases.org.uk, this

phrase

>is widely regarded as 'a euphemistic way of

describing being

>made redundant'. Who knew?

>

>

>-

>

>missingyoualready at thefridaything.co.uk

>

>------------------------------------------------------------

>

>THE BLAIR YEARS IN NINETEEN WORDS

>=

>

>'If this was anything to do with trying to appeal to

the

>electorate, he wouldn't be so excruciatingly honest.'

>

>

>- Labour MP Stephen Pound defends Blair's 'God told

me to do

>it' Iraq defence, March 4 2006.

>

>------------------------------------------------------------

>

>THE KIDS ARE ALL WRONG

>=

>

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEfYI94LzDs

>

>------------------------------------------------------------

>

>TONY BLAIR: CLAIRVOYANT

>=

>

>'I say, with the greatest respect to the right hon.

>Gentleman, that the fact is that in the end there

have been

>many claims made about the Iraq conflict. It was

claimed

>that hundreds of thousands of people were going to

die in

>it; that it would be my Vietnam; that the Middle East

would

>be in flames; and - the latest claim - that weapons

of mass

>destruction were a complete invention by the British

>Government. The truth is that some people resent the

fact

>that it was right to go to conflict. We won the

conflict;

>thanks to the magnificent contribution of the British

>troops, Iraq is now free, and we should be proud of

that.'

>

>- Prime Minister's Questions, June 4, 2003

>

>------------------------------------------------------------

>

>IN FACT – IN FACT NOTHING

>=

>

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S96HIGcLcvU&NR=1

>

>------------------------------------------------------------

>

>LEST WE FORGET

>=

>

>http://www.thankyoutony.com

>

>------------------------------------------------------------

>(c) Copyright Fridaycities.com 2007. You can copy,

but please

>credit.

>------------------------------------------------------------



INTERZONE
http://www.augustineleudar.110mb.com/Interzone.htm

RTX, Kristin Hersh, Githead, Shellac, Michael Gira & the Dirty Three interviewed here:
http://www.perfectsoundforever.com

Polysics interviewed here:
http://www.cultcargo.net


      ___________________________________________________________
Yahoo! Answers - Got a question? Someone out there knows the answer. Try it
now.
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/