[kj] OT -- Metal Joke
sade1
saulomar1 at yahoo.com
Sat Jan 8 02:42:46 EST 2005
If that's what you call waiting for the Joke then, yes!
--- juliet pleming <pricepleming at tiscali.co.uk> wrote:
> You lot obviously all have social lives.
>
> Juliet
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: juliet pleming
> To: joker at Z6.com ; A list about all things Killing Joke (the
> band!)
> Sent: Friday, January 07, 2005 7:55 PM
> Subject: Re: [kj] OT -- Metal Joke
>
>
> Yeah! He should be King for a day tomorrow - not a princess
> today!
>
> Juliet
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Rob's Arse
> To: A list about all things Killing Joke (the band!)
> Sent: Friday, January 07, 2005 7:25 PM
> Subject: Re: [kj] OT -- Metal Joke
>
>
> So then, the princess knits the cardians which are really
> kiling joke t shirts. Therefore the princess is actually Mike
> Coles. Who, erm, ends up getting fucked by Tommy Lee.
>
> That's not nice. Not nice at all. On the eve of his
> birthday as well. Poor old Pammy Coles!
>
>
> --- sade1 <saulomar1 at yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: sade1 <saulomar1 at yahoo.com>
> Date: Fri, 7 Jan 2005 11:12:24 -0800 (PST)
> To: "A list about all things Killing Joke (the band!)"
> <gathering at misera.net>
> Subject: Re: [kj] OT -- Metal Joke
>
> That's waht i thought after rereading it. The 'management'
> part killed me.
>
> --- Jpwhkj at aol.com wrote:
>
> > That was the princess / cardigan reference.
> >
> > <saulomar1 at yahoo.com> writes:
> >
> > >That was funny. Thanks.
> > >Liked the Antoni-shooting-warhorses bit. But, no Mike
> Coles?
> > >
> > >--- Jpwhkj at aol.com wrote:
> > >
> > >> Killing Joke arrive by aeroplane, from Prague, LA,
> NZ,
> > Milton
> > >> Keynes, etc. Geordie stands there swaying, smoking,
> playing
> > >> guitar, and generally looking cool while Jaz rants at
> the
> > >> dragon. Raven drinks some beer, then sets his pit
> bulls on
> > the
> > >> dragon. Meanwhile Youth has skinned up, and several
> session
> > >> drummers have come and gone. The princess meanwhile
> has
> > spent
> > >> her time knitting Killing Joke cardigans, which are
> > >> confiscated by the management who arrive shortly
> after the
> > >> dragon dies.
> > >>
> > >> Motley Crue arrive, and Tommy Lee videos himself
> fucking
> > the
> > >> princess.
> > >>
> > >> Then it turns out that Antoni is also in the castle,
> having
> > >> been locked up for taking photos of warhorses.
> > >>
> > >> I could go on, but...
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> >Metal Joke
> > >> >
> > >> > This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess
> > trapped
> > >> in
> > >> >a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the
> story
> > >> with
> > >> >different styles of metalheads as knights.(can do
> w/out
> > the
> > >> >raping, though)
> > >> >
> > >> >POWER METAL:
> > >> >
> > >> >The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn,
> escapes
> > from
> > >> the
> > >> >dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in
> an
> > >> enchanted
> > >> >forest.
> > >> >
> > >> >THRASH METAL:
> > >> >
> > >> >The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves
> the
> > princes
> > >> >and fucks her.
> > >> >
> > >> >HEAVY METAL:
> > >> >
> > >> >The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the
> dragon,
> > drinks
> > >> a
> > >> >few
> > >> >beers and fucks the princess.
> > >> >
> > >> >FOLK METAL:
> > >> >
> > >> >The protagonist arrives with some friends playing
> > acordions,
> > >> >violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the
> > dragon
> > >> >falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then all
> > >> >leave....without the princess.
> > >> >
> > >> >VIKING METAL:
> > >> >
> > >> >The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon
> with
> > his
> > >> >mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the
> > princess
> > >> to
> > >> >death, steals her belongings and burns the castle
> before
> > >> >leaving.
> > >> >
> > >> >DEATH METAL:
> > >> >
> > >> >The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the
> > princess
> > >> >and kills her, then leaves.
> > >> >
> > >> >BLACK METAL:
> > >> >
> > >> >The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the
> dragon and
> > >> >impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises
> the
> > >> >princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before
> killing her.
> > >> Then
> > >> >he impales the princess next to the dragon.
> > >> >
> > >> >GORE METAL:
> > >> >
> > >> >The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and
> spreads his
> > >> guts
> > >> >in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills
> her.
> > >> Then
> > >> >he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and
> eats
> > her
> > >> >guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time,
> burns
> > the
> > >> >corpse and fucks it for the last time.
> > >> >
> > >> >DOOM METAL:
> > >> >
> > >> >The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon
> and
> > >> thinks
> > >> >he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and
> > commits
> > >> >suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess
> as
> > >> dessert.
> > >> >That's the end of the sad story.
> > >> >
> > >> >PROGRESIVE METAL:
> > >> >
> > >> >The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a
> solo of
> > 26
> > >> >minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom.
> The
> > >> >protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays
> > another
> > >> solo
> > >> >with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the
> last
> > year
> > >> of
> > >> >the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for
> the
> > "HEAVY
> > >> >METAL" protagonist.
> > >> >
> > >> >GLAM METAL:
> > >> >
> > >> >The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the
> guy's
> > >> >appearance and lets him enter. He steals the
> princess'
> > >> make-up
> > >> >and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink
> color.
> > >> >
> > >> >NU METAL:
> > >> >
> > >> >The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic
> and
> > >> attempts
> > >> >to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his
> moronic
> > >> baggy
> > >> >clothes catch fire.
> > >> >
> > >> >=====
> > >> >... ... ... ... ... ...
> > >> >As the masters rot on walls
> > >> >And the angels eat their grapes
> > >> >I watched picasso
> > >> >visit the planet of the apes
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >__________________________________
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> > >
> > >=====
> > >... ... ... ... ... ...
> > >As the masters rot on walls
> > >And the angels eat their grapes
> > >I watched picasso
> > >visit the planet of the apes
> > >
> > >
> > >
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> ... ... ... ... ... ...
> As the masters rot on walls
> And the angels eat their grapes
> I watched picasso
> visit the planet of the apes
>
>
>
>
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... ... ... ... ... ...
As the masters rot on walls
And the angels eat their grapes
I watched picasso
visit the planet of the apes
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