[kj] Back in NYC/Custom Troubles/Big Thanks/PICTURES!

[Alexander Smith]

Oh, I forgot the Gingoblin, who was also a great guy!

Alex in NYC


On Sunday, February 27, 2005, at 08:32 PM, Alexander Smith wrote:

>
> Good lord am I fucking tired. Yeah, this is another long one, but 
> gimme a break. And there are links to pics at the bottom.
>
> Alex Back in NYC reporting once again for Active Duty.
>
> Got in this morning (after traipsing around London all day Saturday 
> with List-Meister Misera). My flight was chock-full of THREE British 
> high school classes combined on their way to a big communal visit to 
> NYC. It was like flying over the Atlantic in a massive fucking school 
> bus. Mr.inNYC was NOT at all pleased. They were fine, though, for the 
> most part. On the way off the plane, who should be greeting me as I 
> cross the threshold but Mr.RICHARD BRANSON, VIRGIN CEO himself! 
> Actually shook the man's hand. Stranger than fiction.
>
> ....and then things got shitty again.
>
> I was pulled over -- quite unexpectedly and frustratingly inexplicably 
> -- by U.S. CUSTOMS. That's right, MY OWN FUCKING COUNTRY decided that 
> it needed to have a little chatty-chat with me. Going through the 
> motions at the custom's gate, the decidedly unsmiling man behind the 
> desk drew a BIG YELLOW LINE down my declaration card and told me to 
> "see the gate clerk." Not clued in that something was up, said clerk 
> said "go see Number 15!". Okay. I walk over to Number Fifteen (despite 
> the good-natured entreaties of clearly bored Number Sixteen, a jovial 
> black gent). Oh no, I went with equally unsmiling Number Fifteen, a 
> true jarhead with a buzzcut and a bad attitude. At this point, I 
> *STILL* haven't realized that something is up. "Have you ever been in 
> trouble with Customs before, sir?" he barks. "Umm.....what do you mean 
> before? Am I in trouble with Customs NOW?" "Just answer the question, 
> sir!" Fuck. "No sir." "Have you ever lived in Seattle?" "Ummmm....no, 
> I'm a native New Yorker and always have been --- and have lots of 
> documentation to support it". "What do you do for a living, sir?" 
> "Ummm...I'm a journalist, I supp..." "LET ME SEE YOUR PASSPORT NUMBER 
> IMMEDIATELY!" By this point, I'm getting alarmed. "Ummm....is 
> something wrong?" I'm panicking now, as I didn't declare the six 
> little jars of fancy mustard I bought at Fortnum & Mason for my 
> mother-in-law. But, somewhat surprisingly, they don't look in my bag. 
> Lots of frowning, typing, brow-furrowing and suspicious staring. 
> Finally, some stamping of my passport and I'm given a "comment card". 
> "Am I in trouble, officer?" I ask...sounding worryingly like Shaggy in 
> 'Scooby-Do'. "I'm not allowed to tell you, sir, but if you contact the 
> address in the document I just handed you, perhaps they can elaborate. 
> With a last name as common as yours......" he trailed off. And waved 
> me off. And off I went, shaken and paranoid. I still haven't the 
> faintest clue why the pulled me aside, but I have the sneaking 
> suspicion that it might've had *EVERYTHING* to do with the "MALICIOUS 
> DAMAGE OPERATIVE" badge I was sporting on my jacket lapel. I'll get 
> you for this, Coles.
>
>
> Alright, enough about that. Here's the meaty part. I'd just like to 
> truly thank *EACH AND EVERY GATHERER AND GATHERER-ASSOCIATE* I was 
> fortunate enough to come into contact with in the past three days. I'm 
> worried about citing names, as I'm deathly afraid of leaving anybody 
> out, but I feel I'd be truly, truly remiss if I didn't specifically 
> thank.....
>
>
> ** Rob Moss ** -- Rob was a gent enough to pick me up at Heathrow and 
> shepherd me around the town for both gigs, more or less making sure I 
> didn't get into any serious trouble. He may be a big looking gent and 
> have a serious problem with displaying his below-the-belt equipment, 
> but he's truly a stand-up, lovable guy. I hope you are feeling better 
> after splitting early on Friday, Rob, and I hope you made it home 
> safely back to Oxford (home of Ride, don'tcha know!)  Heh heh. Sorry. 
> Enjoy the Ramones shirt, you big girly blouse.
>
> ** Mike Coles & His Lovely Family ** -- Another big round of cheers to 
> Mike and his wonderful (and patient) wife, Lyrico and their 
> incomparably beautiful children (luckily for Mike, like my own 
> daughter, they take after the Mother). Not only did the Coles's add a 
> dash of clout, but their honed-from-parenting good natures compelled 
> them to look after me when I decided to happily part with all 
> semblance of coherent reason (via many pints of Grolsch) and 
> beer-handling coordination. Mike was also nice enough to invite Andy 
> Misera and myself out to the fabled Malicious Towers in Kilburn on 
> Saturday, treating us to a rare glimpse inside the proverbial MD 
> vault. And I now know why it's called "the Skylight Zone". He also 
> treated Andy & myself to several selections from the forthcoming CLOCK 
> MACHINE compilation, and lemme just say, biases aside, THIS DISC 
> ROCKS! There is some *TRULY* inspired music thereupon, and if some of 
> those tracks aren't ripe for becoming genuine, radio-friendly hits, 
> than I've got dog semen in my ears.
>
> ** Andy Misera ** -- Our beloved List-Meister was good enough to guide 
> me around London on Saturday, visiting not only the Coles' place, but 
> several shopping locales and more coffee bars, comic shops, posh 
> boutiques, chip shops and pubs than you can shake a a pointy stick at.
>
> ** Graham/Woody2Shooz**  -- The ageless Graham was a gent enough to 
> supply with tickets for both nights and refused to accept any 
> semblance of payment (did I ever get you anything CLOSE to your weight 
> in lager?)
>
> ** Stephane the Frenchman** --  Quite unsolicitedly bestowed on me 
> some richly undeserved goodies like a signed (by all four) poster of 
> the gigs. We may like shouting "BASTARD" at you, Frenchman, but you're 
> a hecka-swell gent.
>
> ** Bob Barathy ** -- For being a smashing gent for looking after the 
> poster alluded to just above (which he will hopefully send to me at 
> some point and not use it to wrap rancid fish with, though I'm sure 
> Mike Coles could live with that).
>
> ** Nichola Wood & Wilfull Dave** -- Neither of whom are on the list, 
> but who very nicely rescued me from wandering off into the desolate, 
> pitch black of the Shepherd Bush night, bundling me into cab where I 
> was forced to discuss the merits of Las Vegas with an 
> overly-enthusiastic cab driver.
>
> ** Jel ** -- For serving as both a massively good dude, a big fuckoff 
> giant who probably scared off loads of Yankaphobes who'd have gladly 
> pounded my head in, and as an excellent step-ladder to up above the 
> fray of the "knitting circle".
>
> Beyond that, what can I say? I met so many nice folks like Rob, Dave 
> (I met about eight Daves, so let that one citation serve them all), 
> Idolatry, Marnyk from Brussels, Brian, Jel's big pal Cliff, Jon 
> Chapman, Mark Saxton (who was always in the men's room....worryingly), 
> Mel, THE INFAMOUS PETER WEST (who's actually an unfailingly nice, 
> smiley guy), Rob Martin, iPat, Horbag, Lisa Gannon, Leigh & his friend 
> Jane, Marc Phillips and Sarah (who I never found again after the 
> Goldhawk), Christophe (again), Dirk (again), Antoni (again), the 
> hilarious Neil Perry, Tom the Canadian (not on the list?), PAUL (DUB) 
> from Dublin, Jamie, Mick Head, MIK RAVEN (again), Jane & Ian, Juliet 
> Pleming,...
>
> ...I'm sure I'm forgetting someone, so HUGE APOLOGIES if so. In case 
> you didn't notice, I was a bit on the inebriated side quite a lot of 
> the time.
>
> Anyway, herewith the pics. Do enjoy:
>
> THURSDAY:
> http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/2005/PhotoAlbum119.html
>
> FRIDAY:
> http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/2005/PhotoAlbum120.html
>
> Cheers again,
>
> Alex in NYC....happy to be home.
>
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