[kj] an old cripple writes..............

[Pat Tofield]

Well...I too have suffered many child related injuries with my three over
the years....the most dramatic of these was when my daughter buried her
front teeth into my forehead.....and left them there.....'howl, howl, howl
the pain'...!!

Anyway, glad to hear you're up & hopping

Pat


-----Original Message-----
From: gathering-admin@misera.net [mailto:gathering-admin@misera.net]On
Behalf Of Rob's Arse
Sent: Thursday, September 25, 2003 5:41 PM
To: gathering@misera.net
Subject: [kj] an old cripple writes..............


Hello Gathering!

I am back from an unplanned exile. Boy am I relieved!

Today is my 35th birthday and I am typing this from my laptop sat on the
couch with my left leg well and truly rested!

Last Monday, I was ushering my four year old son out of the door to nursery.
My wife and I were planning to go looking for flooring for some building
work we are having done  when it all went.............wrong!

I was being beaten by a four year old with a blow up toy (no, not one of
mine) when, in the excitement I managed to bang my head on a low door frame.
I lost my balance and went over on my ankle. Both ankles have been weak
since childhood.  There was a loud crack a sharp pain and I fell over.

I moved my leg but my left foot just flopped. It sat there like a wet rag as
I was consumed by pain like you never knew existed. An ambulance was called
and within 10 minutes I was on my way to Oxford's John Radcliffe hospital
where they confirm two breaks and a dislocation! Deep joy! The drugs they
gave me though we superb! I lost the pain and developed a deep deep voice
brought on by the gas and air. I was pissed out of my head on gas and air
and morphine and began doing Barry White impressions, laughing hysterically,
halucentating and then telling everyone I met that I recognised them. All
this time my wife was shushing me and aplogising. It only got serious when
they pulled my leg back into place. Watching your leg perform such stunts is
rather sobering and no amount of drugs can hide the pain!.
I then had to wait 7 days for the swelling to go down so that they could
operate. I know have a 5 inch metal plate in one of the bones and ten nice
shiney screws! I shall be bleeping airport security machines for evermore!

I chose a nice bright pink cast just to piss my kids off and am now hobbling
everywhere on crutches and getting as much sympathy as possible.

I have to say that the health care I received and all my fellow inmates too
was absolutely first class. This is my first real experience of the NHS and
I am very impressed. These folks get a great deal of criticism, but they got
a new fan here!

It's good to be back but moshing is of the list for the tour!

So what's the score? I genuinely missed you freaks! What have I missed?

Lots of  love

Bob the cripple

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