[kj] Official European Language
Dave Axford
gathering@misera.net
Wed, 17 Sep 2003 15:23:16 -0400
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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European nation rather than German =
which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that =
English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become =
known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will =
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard
"c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up =
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when =
thetroublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f". This will make words =
like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be =
expektedto reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removalof double letters which have =
always ben adeterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the =
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should =
go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" =
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining =
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a
reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and =
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl.
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<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby=20
English<BR>will be the official language of the European nation rather =
than=20
German which was the other possibility.<BR><BR>As part of the =
negotiations, Her=20
Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room=20
for<BR>improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would =
become=20
known as "Euro-English".</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft =
"c". Sertainly,=20
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard<BR>"c" will be =
dropped=20
in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan =
have one=20
less letter.</DIV>
<DIV><BR>There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when =
thetroublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f". This will make words =
like=20
fotograf 20% shorter.</DIV>
<DIV><BR> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling =
kan be=20
expektedto reach the stage where more komplikated changes are=20
possible.<BR>Governments will enkourage the removalof double letters =
which have=20
always ben adeterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the =
horibl=20
mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go =
away.</DIV>
<DIV><BR>By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing =
"th"=20
with "z" and "w" with "v".<BR> During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" =
kan be=20
dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav =
a<BR>reil=20
sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun =
vil find=20
it ezi tu understand ech oza.</DIV>
<DIV> Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.</DIV>
<DIV><BR> If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza=20
pepl.<BR><BR></DIV></BODY></HTML>
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