[kj] an old cripple writes..............

[Shadforth, Jane E SUKOP-UOIT/42]

Belatedly... welcome back & happy birthday.

-----Original Message-----
From: Rob's Arse [mailto:joker@Z6.com]
Sent: 25 September 2003 16:41
To: gathering@misera.net
Subject: [kj] an old cripple writes..............




Hello Gathering!

I am back from an unplanned exile. Boy am I relieved!

Today is my 35th birthday and I am typing this from my laptop sat on the =
couch with my left leg well and truly rested!

Last Monday, I was ushering my four year old son out of the door to =
nursery. My wife and I were planning to go looking for flooring for some =
building work we are having done  when it all went.............wrong!

I was being beaten by a four year old with a blow up toy (no, not one of =
mine) when, in the excitement I managed to bang my head on a low door =
frame. I lost my balance and went over on my ankle. Both ankles have =
been weak since childhood.  There was a loud crack a sharp pain and I =
fell over.

I moved my leg but my left foot just flopped. It sat there like a wet =
rag as I was consumed by pain like you never knew existed. An ambulance =
was called and within 10 minutes I was on my way to Oxford's John =
Radcliffe hospital where they confirm two breaks and a dislocation! Deep =
joy! The drugs they gave me though we superb! I lost the pain and =
developed a deep deep voice brought on by the gas and air. I was pissed =
out of my head on gas and air and morphine and began doing Barry White =
impressions, laughing hysterically, halucentating and then telling =
everyone I met that I recognised them. All this time my wife was =
shushing me and aplogising. It only got serious when they pulled my leg =
back into place. Watching your leg perform such stunts is rather =
sobering and no amount of drugs can hide the pain!.
I then had to wait 7 days for the swelling to go down so that they could =
operate. I know have a 5 inch metal plate in one of the bones and ten =
nice shiney screws! I shall be bleeping airport security machines for =
evermore!

I chose a nice bright pink cast just to piss my kids off and am now =
hobbling everywhere on crutches and getting as much sympathy as =
possible.

I have to say that the health care I received and all my fellow inmates =
too was absolutely first class. This is my first real experience of the =
NHS and I am very impressed. These folks get a great deal of criticism, =
but they got a new fan here!

It's good to be back but moshing is of the list for the tour!

So what's the score? I genuinely missed you freaks! What have I missed?

Lots of  love

Bob the cripple

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