[kj] [ot]Random band review generator

[J.Paul Owens]

This is from

http://www.chthonicionic.net/bile/default.asp

(via b3ta)

Surprisingly accurate.....


Killing Joke's Revelations, an object lesson in filth...

  It is difficult to stop yourself from throwing a brick at your CD player 
when tosh like Hum comes out of it on a regular basis. Just because the 
whole album stinks doesn't mean you can get away with offerings like Empire 
Song - I'm still reeling from the onslaught of what sounds like my four year 
old's aborted attempts at sex with a shrew. Track five, Pandy's Are Coming 
reminds me of a dawn chorus of bees slowly being ground into mince for the 
cheap meat market. I wish it wouldn't.

  I've heard better tunes than track six, Chapter III from my digital watch, 
on the hour, every hour. What possesses people to make music that sounds 
like track eight, Land of Milk and Honey? The bastard lovechild of Joe Dolce 
and Mariah Carey? I'm not offering further opinion because I'm not listening 
to it again. Ever. Seventeen years of therapy and still I'm reduced to a 
gibbering wreck by things like Dregs.

  In fact, a fruits of the forest yoghurt has more cultural significance.

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